Panic
by IM1LuckyWoman
Summary: When Isabella Swan regains consciousness with no idea where she is...unable to see or scream...barely able to move or breathe, her first instinct is to survive, in any way possible. With that in mind, the last thing she can allow herself to do is...panic. Surviving the trauma and getting on with her new life is the goal. Having Edward play an integral part is a Godsend.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N 'Panic' was my first ever entry into a fan fic contest. It was a one-shot anonymous contest and I was pleased to take part. It reaped no rewards...other than the one I felt just by participating. :) It was almost 10,000 words (the maximum allowed) for the one-shot, but now I've broken it into chapters and am sharing it with you, dear readers. Hope you like. Please, IF you like, take a moment to review and maybe rec to others. Much appreciated, as always. Next update...not too long. I promise.  
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><p><strong> PANIC<strong>

_CHAPTER ONE_

I didn't so much "regain" consciousness, as have it slam back into me in a rush. One second I was 'gone' and the next I was 'back'…but back _where?_ I was completely disoriented. 'Look around.' My mind told me. 'Look around and see where you are.' I moved my head, first left then right.

Oh my God, I couldn't see! I was blind! Was I blind? Were my eyes open? I had thought so at first; I was awake, so they should be open. But no…they weren't. I could tell they weren't.

'Open your eyes!' I told myself silently. 'Open them, damn it!' I tried. It didn't work. There was something covering my eyes. Why would something be covering my eyes? What the fuck was going on? What was happening?

I needed to take it off…to take off whatever was blinding me, but where were my hands? They wouldn't come to help me. They were…above my head and angled out a bit to each side. They were…tied? I was bound and tied to something?

I could feel the panic lurking, waiting to pounce…like a pack of wolves pacing just out of reach of a fire, waiting for the flames to turn to embers before surging forward and overwhelming the doomed traveler. I could feel it threatening to surge toward me…to overwhelm me.

My rate of my breathing increased and became more ragged and I started to cry out, tried to cry out…and then realized it wasn't happening. My scream was muffled and low. It became a moan when I realized that my mouth wasn't available to me anymore either. Like my eyes, it was covered…only not with cloth. It felt sealed. It _was_ sealed, with tape I was sure.

'Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic…' I told myself in a mantra…over and over in quick succession.

'You can breathe. Your eyes and mouth may be covered but your nose seems clear and you can breathe. Now breathe, damn it…but slower…slower…' Little by little I managed. I pushed the panic back a bit more with each slow, measured inhalation. 'Now, take inventory. Think. Figure out what the fuck happened.'

Priorities. What to do first? I needed to take inventory of my body. Was I okay? Was I hurt somewhere? Could I tell?

'Start with your head and work down from there,' said my internal voice. So I did.

My head felt okay. I had a headache, but it wasn't a bad one so I didn't think I'd been hit or anything. That would hurt worse than this, right? This was a dull ache, a throbbing ache…but not horrible. I was pretty sure my head was okay.

My eyes were covered with some sort of cloth. I could feel the softness of cloth. Wait! If it was a blindfold like you wore for a child's party game, it would come off if I could just manage to move my head around enough to dislodge it, right? Of course!

I moved my head gently from side to side. I mean, I didn't _think_ my headache indicated anything serious, but I didn't want to make something worse if I was wrong. Nothing happened to the cloth. It didn't budge. Okay, I needed to be a little more vigorous. I pushed my head back into the surface behind it (a pillow?), hoping to get more friction on the cloth so it would shift, and tossed my head back and forth with more speed and pressure this time. Still nothing. My eyes remained as securely covered as before. Why would that be? Stop. Think.

If there was a cloth blindfold tied around my head, there would be a knot in the back, right? Or, at least something that secured it? I should feel that. It would be uncomfortable. I didn't feel anything but the softness of the pillow. There was no knot, no discernible feeling of any type of fastener. But then how was cloth covering my eyes and what was keeping it in place?

As soon as I asked myself that question, I figured it out. Yes, there was cloth over my eyes…a few layers of it I thought because it felt kind of cushioned, padded…but now that I was paying attention, I could feel something more than the cloth. I could feel something attached to my skin near my temples. The cloth was held in place with tape. It wasn't going to come off just because I moved my head back and forth. Okay, I wasn't going to be seeing for awhile. At least it didn't hurt. At least the tape wasn't directly on my eyes.

'Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic…'

My nose was next, clear and unobstructed. Breathing through it was okay…not as comfortable as also having my mouth available, but okay if I breathed slowly, calmly. I was working on that.

My mouth. I knew about that already. Definitely taped closed and definitely not able to scream or yell or talk. I tried again anyway. Nope…all I could manage was a muffled mmmfffff'…low and barely audible to my own ears, let alone someone else's. At least I could still swallow behind the tape…if I needed to. My mouth was actually so dry that I didn't think swallowing was really going to be an issue for awhile.

My body felt…okay. Having my arms up over my head wasn't the most comfortable position to be in, but my wrists seemed to be bound with something cushioned, not hard or painful. Another good thing. Also, they weren't numb, neither my hands nor my arms. Hmmm…maybe I hadn't been in this position that long. I felt chilled though. Bare arms then. Not covered.

My focus moved to my body…also cool. Also bare? Oh God, oh God, oh…

'Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic…' I forced into my mind.

Wait. Not completely bare. I could feel straps still on my shoulders, less chill on my breasts than the rest of my chest. My bra was still on me then. I tried to feel the rest of my body with my mind.

Okay. Legs. Bare legs. They were cool too. Slightly spread but not uncomfortably so…but bound at the ankles, with something cushioned again, and attached to something, obviously. Some movement possible…a few inches maybe. Not a lot. No pain though. Good. Next…feet. I wiggled my toes. Bare feet. No big deal. I can do bare feet. I do bare feet all the time.

Now…my lower body. I took a breath and concentrated. 'Please, oh please…'

I shifted my hips on the surface behind me (a mattress?), first left then right, and felt the slip of satin across my backside. Okay, lacy satin panties still in place. I didn't realize I was holding the breath I'd taken until it came out in a rush through my nose. Did anything hurt…down there? Did anything feel wrong or different? No. Thank you, God…no. As far as I could tell, I was okay there.

I felt tears squeeze out from my eyes. I guess they got absorbed by the cloth that was covering them. There was nowhere else for them to go. I was afraid to start crying though. Crying meant needing more air. Crying meant your nose got stuffy. Crying meant breathing through your mouth, if you had a mouth you could breathe through. I didn't. I couldn't…so I couldn't cry. I couldn't. Don't.

'Don't panic, don't panic, don't…'

My throat ached with the effort to control my tears…but that was better than the alternative of full on crying. Eventually, I regained control and the ache dissipated, a little at a time. Okay…what next? Next was figuring out what had happened and why I was here…wherever here was. Start at the beginning. Be calm. Think.

My name is Isabella Marie Swan. I'm 23 years old and I'm from a little town in Washington, in the United States.

I recently graduated college and decided I wanted to see a little something of the world, to experience something new and different before finding a permanent job. As a result, I was about to begin a job as an au pair for the young children of a wealthy British family. The Cullens hired me after numerous emails and phone calls and then finally meeting and interviewing me in the US while they were vacationing. I'm going to live in their home in London.

The family consists of Dr. Carlisle Cullen, his wife, Esme and their two children; Emmett is six and Alice is four. There is also Dr. Cullen's younger brother who will be living there for the first month or so after I arrive. I don't know his name. I just know that he has started a new job and is looking for his own place in London.

I had only just arrived at Heathrow and was about to hail a cab to take me to the Cullen's home when I saw the man holding a sign bearing my name: Ms. Isabella Swan. He was searching the smallish crowd of passengers making their way from the baggage carousel. I was part of the smallish crowd.

'How thoughtful,' I told myself. 'They sent a driver.' I had told Dr. Cullen he didn't need to meet me. It was going to be late when I landed. I had told him and Mrs. Cullen not to worry; I would find a cab and make it to their home just fine. I was officially a 'grown up' now, after all. Obviously, if they were going to entrust me with the care of their children, they trusted that I was also capable of taking care of _myself._

But, now that I saw a driver waiting, I was extremely grateful that Dr. Cullen hadn't listened to me. He may not have come to meet me himself, but how nice that I was being met. How nice not to have to wait in line for a cab, this late at night especially.

I walked up to the driver holding the sign and identified myself as Ms. Swan. He smiled slightly, took the handle of the baggage cart from me, said "Nice ta meetcha, Ms. Swan' and told me to follow him. I trailed behind and out through the terminal doors to the sidewalk.

We walked a good distance from the exit, almost to the very end of the walkway. I supposed the parking spaces nearest the doors were for quick pickups and drop-offs…not for actually awaiting a passenger's arrival. My driver stopped at the side of a nondescript black car, the only one parked this far down the walk.

Leaving the baggage cart near the trunk of the car, the driver opened the back door for me and I gratefully slid in. It had been a long flight and I was exhausted. I leaned my head on the back of the seat and let my heavy eyelids close. 'Just while he loads the bags,' I thought. 'Then I'll perk up and carry on a conversation. I don't want to be rude.'

I expected to hear the trunk of the car open and feel the slight bounce caused by the weight of my bags as they were loaded into it, but instead I felt someone hurriedly slide in next to me through the still open door. I only had time enough to lift my head and turn toward the movement before something…a cloth…a cloth with a sickly-sweet smell, covered my mouth and nose. I started to fight, to push the hands holding the cloth away and to try to kick my attacker, but the door on the other side of the car opened and I felt someone else get into the back and immediately grab my hands and throw one heavy leg over mine so my kicking was ineffectual.

I took a deep breath so I could scream and realized my mistake a second too late. The only thing my deep breath accomplished was increasing the amount entering my lungs of whatever the smelly stuff was on the cloth…the stuff that was making my brain grow fuzzy…that was making my arms and legs feel like lead weights…that was making me unable to do more than flutter my eyes open enough to look at the person holding the cloth on my face.

My brief glimpse was of a face completely covered by a knitted mask except for a slash for the mouth, a hole for the nose and a narrow rectangular opening for the eyes. That last is what scared me enough to make me squeeze mine closed again, as quickly as I could. I only saw one of the eyes behind the mask and it terrified me. It was RED and was fiercely glaring down at me while my struggles grew weaker and weaker.


	2. Chapter 2

_CHAPTER TWO_

And that brought me back to here…to now…because that's the last thing I remembered before "waking up". What to do now? What _could_ I do now? Think.

I couldn't see or speak…or move from where I was. But, I could breathe and I could…_hear_. I could hear! My ears weren't covered and I could hear and I hadn't been paying any attention and what if I'd missed something important that could help me? No…I wasn't going to worry about that. It wouldn't do me any good to worry about what I might have missed. It would just depress me, thinking that way. Start listening…start listening _now_.

I tried to quiet my breathing so that I couldn't hear myself at all. I needed to block _me_ out and to listen to everything else. Did I hear _anything_? I lay quietly…so quietly.

So…quiet. I couldn't hear anything. There were no traffic sounds. Weren't there always traffic sounds? I was in London, for heaven's sake…there would always be traffic and traffic sounds… all the time…in…London, wouldn't there? That's when the next thought hit me like a punch in the stomach.

What made me think I was still in London? Think about it. I had no idea how long I had been unconscious. I could have been driven somewhere around the corner or out of the city and into the countryside or put on a fucking boat and taken out of the fucking country for fuck's sake and I had NO fucking idea where I was and…I could feel the despair reach out with bony, cold fingers to grab me and pull me under. I barely managed to swallow the sobs that threatened to suffocate me. I choked them down. I wouldn't give in to them.

'Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, don't…' It took longer this time to bring myself back from the edge.

'Listen…and keep listening. Just because you didn't hear anything the first minute, doesn't mean there won't be _something_ to hear _sometime_. Just…be…still…and…quiet.'

So…quiet. But this time I kept listening. I wasn't going to move a muscle and I wasn't going to make a sound and I would breathe slowly and quietly and evenly and…

I was _still_ breathing slowly and quietly and evenly when I woke up. I had fallen asleep? How? How had I fallen asleep? What was the matter with me? Was I stupid? I needed to stay awake and listen and…

'Stop it! Stop berating yourself for something you couldn't help. It's okay. Just start again. Listen.'

I was getting tired of having to give myself pep talks, but what was my alternative? I could _not_ let despair get its hooks into me. I had always been an optimistic person. I had always thought the best of things…whether people or situations. If, as I thought, that really was a natural part of my personality, then I couldn't stop now. I couldn't just throw that away. If ever I needed to look for the positive, it was now.

It was while I was giving myself this last internal speech that I noticed, at the edge of my awareness, a new sound…one that I'd almost missed because I was "talking" to myself. Listen…what was that? Was it…voices? Shhhhhhh…..be quiet….and listen.

It was. I was sure of it. There were faint voices…so faint that I couldn't tell what they were saying, but I was sure it was voices…plural…not the same voice. Even as faint as they were, there was a difference in the pitch. One voice was much deeper than the other. Okay…what would that mean?

Could one be a man and one a woman? That made the most sense if I was right about the voices, didn't it? But a woman? Would a woman do this to another woman? I didn't want to believe that…but I wasn't stupid…or even completely naïve. Of course she would. Women did awful things every day. Men didn't have a monopoly on cruelty. So…if one _was_ a woman, and the woman was the one who came to take care of me…

Nipping at the heels of that thought was the voice in my head that said 'What makes you think someone is going to come and 'take care' of you?' I slammed the door right in the face of that thought. I literally visualized it…a door, slamming. Don't let that thought inside. Don't.

'Don't panic, don't panic, don't…'

Control. I needed control. Just wait. Don't assume. You can't know anything until it happens, so hope for the best and listen….

I lay there listening but couldn't distinguish any changes. The voices alternated…now deep, now not so deep…but I still couldn't make out any words and they didn't seem to be getting any closer, or any further away for that matter…and they were so faint. So was no one moving around then? They weren't coming to wherever I was. What were they doing? And then…I knew.

They weren't real. They were on a television…they were television voices. I knew…because the volume increased and there was…music…a jingle…a commercial? Commercials were always louder than programs. Why was that, anyway? I'd heard once it was because people got up and left the room during commercials…to go to the kitchen and get a snack or to have a bathroom break…and the commercial didn't want you to be able to escape its sales 'pitch' so it set its volume on HIGH and followed you to wherever you went and…what the fuck was I doing?

Focus! I needed to focus! It was getting harder and harder to do. I had a feeling that even though I was outwardly managing, however slightly, to keep the panic of my situation from overwhelming me, inside it was nibbling away at my resolve…little bite by little bite with its sharp, pointy teeth. I couldn't let it. I pushed it back. Don't think of that. Don't.

'Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't…'

My mantra was getting on my nerves, but saying 'DON'T panic' was better than the alternative, wasn't it? Yes. It was.

The alternative could kill me…if not physically…it could at least kill me mentally or emotionally. And that might be worse. That could be infinitely worse. So…I would say it until I couldn't say it anymore. If it kept me sane and thinking coherently…I would say it forever…until I really _was_ killed. Was that a possibility? Yes, I suppose it was…but I wasn't going to go there. I just wasn't.

I took a long, deep breath in and out through my nose, as slowly as I possibly could…and then I did it again.

So…now what? I was back to not knowing who I was dealing with. Well…that wasn't entirely true. I at least knew who I _had_ been dealing with before I was brought here. I was dealing with an average looking man with an okay smile who pretended to be my driver and who was in on this with at least one other person because there had been two people in that backseat with me and one of them had…had…a red eye! Oh my God, oh fuck! What _WAS_ that? How was that possible? Think.

Something wrong with his eye or eyes? Some condition that caused it to be that color? I couldn't imagine what that would be, but there were lots of things I didn't know in the world so I'm sure it was a possibility. What else? What else was a possibility? What could change the color of…I stopped mid sentence in my mind.

Contacts. Of course. Contact lenses could easily change the color of your eyes and they came in all kinds of colors now for lots of different reasons and it was going to be Halloween next month and so there were probably costume shops with all manner of contact lenses now. I'd even seen ones that were made to look like the eyes of a cat, with slit-like vertical pupils. Those were _really_ creepy.

So, why would my attacker…my kidnapper, I amended…be wearing red contact lenses? Simple...so I couldn't identify the color of his eyes. And people only took precautions like that when there was a chance that you might be _able _to identify them. And that meant that they were planning to let you go, because, if they were planning to…_not_ let you go (I wasn't going to think that other word again), they didn't care whether you could identify them or not.

For the first time since I woke, I actually felt a small sense of relief. I knew I still had a chance to come out of this okay. Tears leaked out of my eyes again. I felt the heat and salt of them, even though they couldn't touch my cheeks. 'So, Bella…' I thought to myself, 'now what?'

Now I had to hold onto that thought…that hope that I _was _going to come out of this okay…that someone _was_ going to come and take care of me. I just had to wait and think and plan what to do when that happened to maximize my chances to stay safe…to get out of this somehow.

Okay…I needed to keep my mind busy so it didn't slip back to the negative. Think. Think.

What came to me first was one simple word: _Why?_

Why had someone decided to do this…to kidnap _me_? Ransom? Didn't most people do this for money? I didn't have any money. My parents didn't have any money. This was not a good thing. Had they mistaken me for someone else…for someone who did have money…or whose family had money? The answer to that came quickly and clearly.

No. There was no mistake. The "driver" had had my name on a card. He _knew_ who I was. He had to know I didn't have money…that I was just here for a job, to be an au pair, for Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. And then that thought expanded…..for _wealthy_ Dr. and Mrs. Cullen.

Oh God, was that it? That had to be it! They were hoping that the Cullens would pay a ransom for me. Were they really hoping that? But I was just an employee. I wasn't a member of the family. We didn't even really _have _a relationship yet. They wouldn't pay money, pay a ransom, for me. And if they didn't…

My heart sank. I felt a sob trying to break free from behind the tape. Oh please, oh please…let whoever had done this not be asking for too much money and let Dr. Cullen give it to them and I'll work for him forever to pay it back but please, oh please let it not be too much.

I choked back and swallowed the sob. 'Remember, you cannot cry, Bella. You cannot.' It was SO hard not to, but I managed…only just. I was so scared I felt sick to my stomach...and that scared me even more. Oh my God. If I got sick I would, most likely, choke and die. Breathe, slowly…breathe…relax…breathe… A measure of control came back to me. Now think.

When someone came to check on me, I just had to do what I was told and be meek and compliant. I had to do whatever they told me so I could maximize my chances here. I couldn't do anything else.


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER THREE_

While trying to relax and just breathe I must have fallen asleep again because the next thing I knew I was waking up…but I didn't know why. I felt awakened _by _something. What was different? Something was different. I could feel it.

Oh God…my legs! Something felt different about my legs. I tried to move them…and they moved! They weren't tied to anything anymore. How? What happened? It was then that I heard the sound…of breathing…of breathing that wasn't mine.

I couldn't help it…a sound escaped me…a whimper. Was that bad? I couldn't help it. I had wanted to be quiet, but now knowing that someone was in here and that they had released my legs, I couldn't help it. I was scared and encouraged and scared and hopeful and scared half to death.

Whoever was in here with me cleared their throat. It was a man. Was it a man? It sounded deep. And then he spoke…

"I've letcher legs loose. Ya musta been sleepin' hard. Ya din't even wake up. Anyhow…ya can move yer legs now…but if ya kick out at me, they'll be tied up again in a minute and ya won't get ta use the facilities. It makes no nevermind ta me if ya piss yerself, but Victo..." he paused and said "shite", under his breath. "…but someone else thinks we ought ta at least letcha use the loo." And again under his breath, "bleedin' heart, pansy ass…" and then, "Women."

"So, I'm comin' over closer to yer bed. No kickin'. Ya got it?"

I nodded my head and mumbled into my gag. Inside I was yelling "yes, yes!" And I was asking myself 'Do I have to pee? Has it been so long that I have to pee?' I really didn't think I did, but I wasn't going to argue with getting up off this mattress. It felt so good to have some movement in my legs and it would be wonderful to have my arms down and moving again.

"I'm gonna letcher arms loose now…but don't move 'em except down ta yer sides. Then ya can sit up. Don't touch yer blindfold or the gag. Got it?"

I nodded and mumbled an assent again.

"Awright then."

I felt him move closer to the bed and felt the tugging that released one of my wrists. Then I heard his footsteps as he walked around to the other side of me and tugged on the bindings for my other wrist. Remembering my instructions, I slowly moved my arms down to my sides. Now that they were free, I realized how close they had been to becoming painful. I felt pins and needles as the circulation increased. It obviously hadn't been completely cut off, but the position I'd been in had hindered it.

"Now…push yerself up and sit on ta edge of the bed there. Jus put yer feet over ta side."

I had to move slowly. I was stiff. My muscles protested as normal blood flow resumed and they could move again.

I felt movement of the air and then he took my wrists and held them together. The instinctive part of my brain wanted to hit, to fight, to do whatever I could to make him quit touching me. I fought that urge and remained quiet.

"I've gotta tie yer hands back tagether in fronta ya. It'll be loose enough so ya can use 'em fer whatcha need to use 'em fer." I let myself be tied. As soon as that was done, his hand grabbed my upper arm and pulled me to my feet. I almost toppled back to the bed. I know I couldn't have been here that long, but my legs felt shaky and weak. My toes grabbed the rough wooden floor (rough…wooden…remember that, just in case) to help steady me.

"Hold up…hold up fer a second. Don't fall back on me." He stood there holding my arm. We stayed that way for some seconds while I regained my balance.

"Awright. You ready now? Let's go." And he tugged on my arm.

I shuffled my feet; I was still afraid I might fall. Walking this way was scary…I was afraid to take regular steps. Almost immediately I felt a splinter from the floor as it stabbed into the soft pad of my big toe. I grunted behind the gag and thought, 'Shit! That hurt.' On the heels of that came another thought…'a splinter is the least of your problems right now, Bella. Suck it up.' I tried picking my feet up a little more as we continued.

Not many steps later, he tugged on my arm again, and I stopped. I heard the creak of a door as it opened. Then he steered me through. I scraped the skin on my upper arm against something big just outside the doorway. I hissed at the burn as well as I could behind the tape. A few steps later his voice said, "Stop." I stopped.

Another door opened and he led me inside another room. I could feel the floor under my bare feet. It was cold. Not wood. It felt dirty. Particles of dirt were sticking to the soles of my feet.

"Awright…here's ta way it's gonna work. I'm gonna back ya up 'til yer legs is touchin' ta seat. Then I'm gonna go stand outside ta door. I'm only gonna close it so far as I can't see ya, but it's not gonna be shut alla way. Yer gonna have three minutes ta do yer business…and then I'm comin' in so don't fool around and don't try nothin'. There ain't no windows in here so ya ain't goin' nowheres and ya better not touch that blindfold either. I'll be able ta tell. If ya fuck up any o' this…ya ain't gonna get ta use the loo again. We'll getcha a bucket and ya can do it in fronta me. Yer choice. If yer real nice doin' this, she said ya get to have ta gag off long enough to have ya a drink a somethin'. If yer not...that doesn't happen either. Yer choice. Okay. Here ya are."

He had moved around in front of me and backed me up a couple of steps. I felt the toilet behind my legs. I waited. Now that I'd been standing and walking for a few minutes, I really did need to pee. 'Go!' I shouted inside. 'Go away so I can go.'

"Here's some paper." He shoved some tissue into my hands and I stood there waiting until he stepped away from me. I heard his footsteps and then his voice came from a short distance away.

"I'm shuttin' this door just a bit now. Hurry it up."

I had no way of knowing if he was actually where he couldn't see me, but I had to pee now and I was in nothing but a bra and panties anyway so I wasn't going to worry about that. I just wasn't.

With my hands tied together, I had to move them from one hip and then round to the other to pull at the waistband of my underwear…but I managed. I slipped them down and pushed them to my knees before slowly lowering myself to the seat of the toilet. I couldn't wait to pee…and then nothing happened.

'Let go.' I told myself. 'It's okay. Who gives a flying fuck if he's watching or listening or standing there taking a fucking picture? You have to pee…so pee.' Nothing happened. 'Shit, shit, shit….' I couldn't believe this. I really did have to go now. Why couldn't I go?'

The more I concentrated, the tighter my muscles seemed to clench. How was I going to do this? Time was wasting and I needed to do this and then I needed to have something to drink because I could hardly swallow now and my throat was so dry and…

'Stop! Breathe and relax, and breathe and relax, and breathe…' I sat there and tried to clear my mind and think of things that pleased me and where I felt good and safe and happy and…finally, finally…I felt my muscles loosen and I managed to pee and I couldn't believe how fucking happy I was to do such a simple, basic thing. It took a bit of contortion to use the paper while my hands were tied together but…'where there's a will, there's a way'…and again, I managed.

I had just finished pulling up my underwear when he said, still from a distance thank God, "I'm comin' back in now. Ya best be ready."

I was standing there when I felt his hand on my arm again. "Okay, let's go." He pulled on my arm and I moved my feet again, following him out of the bathroom. Another short distance and then we were apparently back in my prison and he said "Sit here on ta bed. I'll getcha a drink. You was a good girl, you was." I sat.

I heard him walk across the room…it was just a few steps, and then he was back. "Awright," he said, "Now this is gonna be tricky so ya best listen up. I'm gonna take this tape back off yer mouth…on one side. Once it's off a bit, I'm gonna stick a straw in yer mouth and ya can drink. It's not gonna be too much or we'll have to go through all this trip ta the loo thing again too soon. Don't try ta yell or scream or nothin'. Ain't nobody gonna hear ya, so don't waste yer breath. If ya do, ya don't get nothin' ta drink. Get it?"

I nodded. Inside I was thinking, 'Please, just let me have the drink, please…' because now that he'd promised it, I was desperate for it.

I felt his fingertips at the side of my mouth and prepared myself for the pain of having the tape ripped back. Instead, he moved it slowly and…carefully? I mean I was glad, but I didn't understand why he was being so cautious. Then he started talking to himself…under his breath and in a complaining tone of voice…in a higher register too…like he was imitating a woman.

"Don'tcha pull too hard and fast on that tape, Laurent. Don'tcha damage the merchandise 'cause if ya mess up her pretty mouth she'll bring less of a price than if she's intact. Don'tcha screw it up now. Don'tcha…' his voice trailed away. "Fuck me! Shite! Did I just say my…?"

Oh God, oh fuck…he had said his name and he realized he had said his name and what now, what now, what…?

Don't panic, don't panic, don't…

"Well, there's nothin' for it now. It's not gonna matter anyway. Where yer goin', ain't nobody gonna understand nor care if ya know my fuckin' name."

'Where I'm going? Where I'm going! Oh, God…what were they going to do with me? A price. He had said '…a price'. Would it matter if my mouth was messed up if they were waiting for a ransom? Why would that matter? But…it _would_ matter that my body, and my face, and my mouth were messed up if they were…selling me to someone…for a price…to the highest bidder….?' I thought I was going to faint as this realization slammed me in the face.

Don't panic, don't panic, don't…

As I said this to myself he finished peeling back the tape as far as he was going to. I felt a straw poking at my lips. I managed to open the corner of my mouth enough for the straw to fit in and took a gentle suck on it. I didn't want to take too much and risk choking myself. As the first small stream of cool water trickled in, every surface in my mouth and throat absorbed it greedily. How had I not known I was this thirsty? I stopped and took a breath and then sucked in a little more. It was heavenly. I was in the middle of the third sip when the straw was pulled from my mouth. I felt the tiny droplets flick from the end of it and onto my cheek. I wanted more…but I was afraid to even make a noise trying to ask. The tape was immediately slapped back down across my mouth.

"Awright, I've done my fuckin' nursemaid duties. Lay back down on that bed. Do it." His voice sounded harsher now. As quickly as I could, I did as he said. Now that I knew his name, I was more afraid of him than I'd been before. Now I had something I could use against him if I ever got out of this. He couldn't be _sure_ no one would care or listen to me, could he?

And then I thought 'well…actually…he probably could. If someone was planning to _buy _me, they weren't going to worry about who it was that had kidnapped me, were they?' I wasn't thinking straight. I couldn't really grasp that anyone could do this, could steal me. I couldn't accept that there were other people who would be more than willing to buy me. Undoubtedly, I would somehow end up in a place where no one would listen or care about my story and they especially wouldn't care that all this had happened against my will.

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><p><em><strong>AN I hope the style of language from "Laurent" isn't too bad. I wanted him to sound "common"...but I'm not a language expert so it may be completely wrong. Please forgive if that's the case. As always, thanks for the read. :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_CHAPTER FOUR_

I'd been refastened to the bed at my wrists and ankles. I knew now why such care had been taken to make sure I was secured with padded restraints…and why my eyes hadn't been directly taped shut but had a cloth padding over them…between them and the tape. The tape directly on my mouth was probably for the sake of speed. I'm sure it was slapped on almost immediately so I couldn't scream if I came to sooner than they expected. But care was being taken to make sure as little "damage" happened to my body as possible. My body is what was going to bring them money.

As far as I knew…and this thought was desperately hard to contemplate…Dr. Cullen might not even be aware that anything was wrong. He hadn't sent the car. They weren't trying to ransom me to him. For all I knew, they could have sent him a message that I had missed my plane, or had to delay my arrival a day or two or…that I had changed my mind completely and wasn't coming to work for him at all. Done. End of story. Dr. Cullen wouldn't even know to look for me. He would probably just write me off as an irresponsible girl who hadn't been serious about wanting the position. He might try to call me, to reach me through my parents…but he might not.

My parents. Even my parents wouldn't worry for a few days. They would think I was settling in before I called. This was bad…this was very, very bad.

The other thing that was very bad was the fact that I didn't even feel the need to recite my mantra anymore. There was no need because I felt completely defeated now. Dr. Cullen wouldn't be looking for me. No one would be looking for me. I was lost to my parents, to my world. I didn't see a single way I would be able to get myself out of this on my own…and I didn't see how it was possible that anyone, anywhere, even knew they should be looking for me.

The hot salt of tears once again squeezed into what little space there was for them…from my eyes to the cloth, where they too were lost.

I think my mind shut down then. It couldn't take anymore. I don't know if I drifted off to sleep or if I just…drifted. I know that the last conscious thought I had was about my tears…and myself…and how lost we both were.

I don't know how long it was before I drifted back, but I realized I was conscious and aware again when I heard the hissing of voices…outside the door to the room I was in, I thought. The voices sounded muffled, so I didn't think they were in here with me.

I listened…hard…though I wasn't sure why. It's not like I had come up with a foolproof plan for escape while I'd been 'gone'. I listened anyway.

"James says…no (know?). …almost…it. They…strange when he…car. Tell us…do…back."

The voice changed. It was the other voice now. The "nursemaid" I thought.

"…not waitin'…caught. Fuck…. Gonna do…princess…"

It changed to the first voice again.

"…her. …..our insurance. …..ready."

I heard the door open and, at the same time, my breathing accelerated. Something was happening. It didn't sound like it was a good thing. I hadn't made out all the words, but their tones had been agitated…worried…scared. I tensed as I waited to see what was going to happen next. I was at their mercy. All I _could_ do at this point was wait.

I waited. I tried to slow my breathing…to control it. And I waited.

I expected someone to come over to me, to touch me, to talk to me…something…but nothing happened. Was someone there? They had been there. I knew they were still there. I could feel them. I could hear them breathing. What were they waiting for? What was happening? The silence was expectant…just waiting, as if they were listening to or for something, and then…

SLAM! The door…the door to the room slammed so hard I jumped to the limit of my restraints. My breathing sped off like a race horse again. Who slammed the door…and why? I heard a loud scraping sound outside the door and hurried harsh voices, though I couldn't make out any of the words. What was that scraping sound? What were they saying? What was happening?

The familiar mantra…

'Don't panic, don't panic…' came unbidden to my mind.

Listen…listen…

I heard footsteps then...outside the room…moving away…fast. And then nothing. Silence. I strained to hear something…anything. It was no good. I was alone again and it was silent. Where had they gone? Why had they gone so suddenly? Why had the door slammed so hard? All I had were questions…no answers came to me. I lay still and tried not to think. It was obvious something was going wrong, but I was afraid to know what it was. If something _did _go wrong with their plan…what would that mean for me? I didn't think it would be good.

I lay quietly, but I was shivering now. I couldn't control it. My body was shaking and I felt chilled and clammy at the same time. My breathing was getting ragged and out of control. I was terrified. If their plan was going wrong…had already gone wrong…there was no way out for me. I was gone too.

The panic was gnawing away at me, tiny bite by tiny bite, and this time I couldn't keep it away. I didn't have anything left to fight it. I was done. I started to cry…knowing what that meant to my breathing…knowing it would make it harder to breathe with only my nose available to me…but I had no hope of stopping it. I was done.

I was completely absorbed in the spiral, the whirlpool, that was sucking me down into utter despair, so a few minutes passed before I realized I was hearing noises again…loud noises this time, and getting louder. Voices were shouting…loud, deep voices were shouting. It sounded like there were a lot of them and they were moving…getting louder and fainter and louder again. And then slams and bangs, almost like gunshots but…not. Doors slamming? More doors slamming?

The terror intensified. I had no idea what was happening. Who was out there? Was it the 'James' person they had mentioned outside my door? Was he here…and furious? It seemed obvious the plan had failed and was he here now to get rid of me? Was I a loose end that needed tying up? Of course I was.

I knew it was useless, but I started thrashing around on the bed…pulling at my restraints…screaming behind my gag. The springs under the mattress screeched in protest. I was bucking and twisting as hard as I could…so hard that the headboard I was tied to was banging against the wall...over and over.

Maybe I should stay quiet. Maybe he would just leave me here. I should stay quiet. But I couldn't. I had to get out…I had to get free…I didn't want to die…I had to…get…out!

I was so intent on trying to escape, so intent on straining against the bindings on my wrists and ankles, still making noise…too much noise…that it took a moment before I realized I was hearing the loud scraping sound outside the door again. And then the door opened…and I screamed again behind the gag and moaned and thrashed and could barely breathe and I knew it was over…it had to be over.

And then hands were on me…on my shoulders and trying to hold me down and I heard a voice, a deep voice say "Be still, be still…you'll hurt yourself." And then the voice yelled, "I've got her! She's in here…at the end of the hall; there's a door behind the cabinet." And then other voices were there and he was telling them something but it didn't make sense to me and then he was sending them away but he was still there and he was talking to me, in his deep, softly accented voice.

It wasn't registering with me, though…what he was saying. I couldn't seem to stop trying to wrench myself away from him…but he kept shushing me and I felt his hands at my eyes and…was he removing the blindfold? Was he going to let me see him? Oh God…if I saw him, for sure he would kill me.

But then his voice said, "It's alright, Miss Swan. You're safe now. Be still, please be still. I'll get this off your eyes and you'll be less scared and let me get this off your mouth so you can breathe better…but we do want to be quick. We have to get you out of here. They've set fire to the place and we're going to get it out, but it's burning pretty well in a couple of the rooms downstairs right now so we need to hurry a bit just to be safe, alright? Just be still now."

And I tried…I tried to be still but it wasn't all sinking it and part of me was still so frightened and I was still shaking so hard.

The tape at the side of my eyes pulled at my skin as he peeled it away and then it lifted and the tape at the other side was peeled away as well. I tried to open my eyes, but they'd been closed so long they felt almost glued shut. I tried again…and managed a little…but I couldn't focus. Everything was blurry. I closed them again.

"Don't worry." the voice said, "You'll be able to see fine, I'm sure. It's just that your eyes will have to adjust. They've been behind that blindfold for a lot of hours, I imagine. Just let them stay closed. It's alright. Let's get this off your mouth now." And he pulled the tape away, quickly but as gently as he could under the circumstances. Finally my mouth was free. I gulped a huge breath of air and it was then I realized what a good thing it was that I'd been able to control my tears before because I felt as if I had been suffocating since I had started crying hard and I'd not even been doing it that long. Once I'd had a few good breaths, I tried to talk…to ask who he was…but my voice wasn't working. My throat was too dry. It was ironic that even though my blindfold and gag had been removed, I still couldn't see or speak.

"Really, don't try to talk or see or do anything just now. You're safe. We found you. I'll explain everything later. Let me get these restraints now. We're almost done here."

I felt his hands at my wrists…first releasing one and then the other. I brought my hands to my face…to my eyes. Were they really okay? They felt odd…burning and swollen. Was it just from the tears that had had no place to go? I rubbed my lids gently while I felt him release first one ankle and then finally, finally…the last bond was untied and I was free.

I lay shaking on the bed and thinking…there is no way I can walk. Can I walk? I tried again to say something to him. It came out little more than a whisper.

"I…I don't know…about walking. My legs…my eyes…I…" and then he interrupted me.

"It's alright. Don't worry. I've got you. Let me help you sit. Let me put this around you. " He put his arm under my back and lifted me to a sitting position. I heard the sound of fabric and then he slipped something around my shoulders.

It was a jacket…I think it was his jacket.

"I've got you now. Don't worry about anything. Just relax." And I felt him put one arm behind my back and the other under my legs and then he was scooping me up off the bed and standing and I remember thinking, 'he must be tall', because it seemed I went up and up in his arms. And then he was moving…walking quickly…and I couldn't hold my head up anymore and I laid it on his chest and my hands grabbed onto his shirt and I let my eyes stay closed and this time the tears had room to slip out and down my cheeks and the sobs could come out and not have to be choked down like a bitter pill.

I felt him slow a bit as he maneuvered stairs…I had been upstairs then…making sure he got us both down safely. We had reached the bottom of the stairs and I smelled smoke…and I started to lurch up in his arms but he grasped me a little tighter and said "We're fine. You're fine. The fire's almost put out. Just keep your face turned in to my chest. Don't worry. We're almost there."

And then we _were_ there…outside…and the air was fresher, only a hint of smoke to taint it, and I took more deep breaths and the sobs began to fade and then he was telling someone to open a door and to get a blanket out of the 'boot' and he was setting me down on a seat…on the seat of a car…and he was helping me slide over because he was sliding in next to me.

I tried to open my eyes a little. They still couldn't focus, but I made out the shadow of his face and I was sure it must be a nice face…a kind face…and then I closed my eyes again.

"Here," his nice voice said, "let's get this around you too." And he didn't take the jacket from me but just wrapped a blanket around me, jacket and all. It felt good…and warm…and I felt less exposed.

There seemed to be a lot of activity around the car. I could hear lots of voices and noises, but in the car, it was just him and me and it felt like a safe little harbor and it was so good to feel safe. I tried opening my eyes again…and was still unsuccessful at focusing. They closed once more. I heard him rummaging about but couldn't look to see what he was doing.

"I've found a bottle of water," he said. I managed to squint my eyes open a tiny bit. Why couldn't I seem to_ keep_ them open? He must have seen I wasn't able to do it. "Here, I'll help you. It's alright."

I heard him unscrew the cap and then I felt his hand take mine and guide it to the bottle. I grasped it and brought it to my lips and took a grateful swallow.

"Not too much, at first. You could get sick. Just sip." His hand closed over mine…in case I didn't listen and he needed to control it maybe?

I sipped…once…twice…and then a third time and then his hand pried the bottle from mine.

"Lean back now and rest." He said. "We'll get you to the house soon. It's not far, actually. The _balls_ of these bastards to keep you almost in our backyard."

What did he say? Well…I heard what he said. But what did he mean? I managed to open my eyes a bit and realized it was evening and the light was fading and that was maybe contributing to my not seeing that well. My eyes closed again while I asked,

"What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about." My voice was working again, though it sounded soft and weak.

"The people who kidnapped you…James, Victoria and Laurent…they've all worked for us in one capacity or another, and they all got let go, uh…'fired'…and…listen, we'll fill you in, I promise…but you shouldn't worry about it right now. As I said, we'll get you to the house and Carlisle will get you checked out. We'll get you to hospital if it seems necessary, but you'll be much more comfortable at the house if it's not. We'll take care of you, Miss Swan."

But…I was still confused.

"I'm still confused," I said. "Dr. Cullen…sent you to find me? He knew I was missing?"

"Yes. I'll explain all the details later…of how we knew what had happened and of how we found you. You should rest now. We'll be leaving for the house in just a moment."

"Okay. I get that Dr. Cullen made arrangements to find me but, what does this have to do with you and why did you say "they worked for _us_" and why do you keep saying you'll get me to "the house" and why are you calling Dr. Cullen by his first name and…"

This time, as I was questioning him, I had managed to open my eyes and keep them open and I looked carefully into his. From the last of the fading light, I could tell they were green…and intelligent…and warm. His hair was a rich copper, his nose aristocratic and set a fraction to the left of center, his jaw strong and angular and covered with light stubble. He was breathtakingly good looking.

His face broke into a smile as he saw me staring at him and he said, "I'm so sorry, Miss Swan. I know all about you, but I forgot that you've never seen anything of me before. I _live_ at the house at the moment. Carlisle…Dr. Cullen…is my older brother."

He took my hand in both of his,

"My name is Edward."

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><p><em><strong>AN This is where the story ended for the contest. The next chapter that will be posted is all new. I don't know exactly how long this story will be...but there's quite a bit of story still to tell. We've just met Edward, after all. So...I hope you'll come along. Next update within a week. (That's always my goal.) **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N And now...for the continuation of the story. This chapter begins the all new, not for the contest, material. I do hope you like where the story is going to go from here. There will be multiple chapters, though I'm not sure exactly how many. I will do my best to update regularly (my goal is always at least once a week). **_

_**That being said...I must tell you that I am getting ready to leave for a vacation and may not be able to update until the first week of May. :( Sorry for that. If I can, I will post one more chapter before I leave (If it's going to happen, it will be posted by Thursday, the 12th). **_

_**Thanks for reading. I hope you like it enough to recommend and review. Each of those things is much appreciated. :)**_

* * *

><p><em>CHAPTER FIVE<em>

"You're Edward? Dr. Cullen is your brother?" It wasn't only my eyes that had difficulty focusing apparently. My brain felt cloudy as well…completely shrouded in a thick layer of fog.

"Yes. Carlisle is my older brother. You and I may not have met, but Carlisle and Esme have been talking about your arrival…and you…ever since they got back from their holiday to the states. They've been very much looking forward to your being here to look after Emmett and Alice. I've been looking forward to meeting you myself…though I certainly wish it had happened under different circumstances."

He seemed to notice he was still holding my hand and gently released it and sat it on my lap.

The blanket began slipping from my shoulder and I just stared at it…unable to think what to do. His long, slender fingers caught it and brought it back into place. He lightly patted my shoulder…reassuring…comforting.

"We really need to get you to the house…now. There will be plenty of time for explanations and details later. Sit back now and try to relax a bit. I'll find someone to drive us…" and he started to slide from my side to the door…to get out…to leave me alone.

"Don't!" I almost shrieked and I reached in a panic for his arm, grabbing a handful of his shirt sleeve. "Don't leave me alone! Please…oh please…" and a moan escaped me at the same time that tears spilled from my eyes and down my cheeks. My breathing instantly hitched and grew rapid and I held onto his sleeve as if it was a lifeline and to let it go meant I would surely sink and drown.

"Shhhh….shhhhh…it's alright. It's alright, Miss Swan. I'll be right back…I…" another moan and whimper came from inside me and my head sank toward my lap. He immediately said, "Never mind. I won't leave. It's alright. I'll stay here. Let me just call for someone." He pulled my hair aside so he could look at my face. "Come…sit up now. It's going to be alright. I won't leave."

He looked through the window and out onto the street and there were people moving out there, in the deepening twilight, but it seemed he didn't see whoever he was looking for.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but I think my phone is in my jacket pocket…the jacket that's around you. I need to…retrieve it. Is that alright with you?"

I nodded.

Reaching around and under the blanket, he pulled the left side of the jacket away from my body, all the while saying "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry," as he exposed my underwear clad body. His cell was squirreled away in an inside chest pocket and he fumbled it twice before managing to pull it from its nest.

He tapped the screen and it came to life.

More taps…and then he held it to his ear. I watched his face as he waited for a connection from someone, somewhere. We were mostly in shadows now...but I could still see the tension in the furrowed lines that marred the smoothness of his forehead.

"Hale…Cullen here. Where the fuck is everyone?" As soon as the curse word exited his mouth, he looked over at me and slowly closed his eyes while slightly shaking his head. He listened. "I realize it's a bit 'hectic' right now, but I need a driver. I need to get Miss Swan to the house so Carlisle can have a look at her." A pause.

"No." His tone was steely. "Not in a few minutes. Now. Find me someone…now." He clicked off and turned his gaze to me.

"I apologize for that regrettable slip of language, Miss Swan. Very unprofessional of me. I'm sorry."

Before I had a chance to say that his expletive hadn't offended me, the front door on the right side of the car opened and a head popped in, startling me and making me jump and release another shriek. The head turned to look first at me and then at the man beside me. It spoke.

"Sorry, Miss. Uh…Hale said you need a driver, sir. Will I do?"

"Your name?"

"Jones, sir."

"Get in, Jones. And get us out of here."

"Sir." And Jones, uniformed body following the head I'd already seen, climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine…apparently with keys that had been left dangling from the ignition. He pulled smoothly into the street and then stopped at the corner.

"Address please, sir?" Jones looked into the rearview mirror and waited. He was given one and proceeded. "Well…that's not far at all. I'll have you there in minutes."

"Thank you, Jones."

It was only then that I realized I still had a death grip on the shirt sleeve of this man who had rescued me from a fate that I shuddered to even think about. The shudder literally passed through me as I remembered what had been in my future had I not been found, and that thought brought an instant return of the shaking that had overtaken me earlier.

"You're trembling again. Hold on for me. It'll be just a few more minutes. Come…" and with this last word, he peeled my fingers from his shirt sleeve so that he could lift his arm to encircle my shoulders and pull me in closer to him. I went willingly into the sheltering protection he offered. I still trembled…but it lessened a bit with each passing minute. By the time the car stopped, the quivering had almost stopped as well.

"We're here, sir." Jones' voice came from the front seat.

"Thank you, Jones. Come 'round and get the door, will you?"

In what was now the dark shelter of the car, he said to me, "We're here, Miss Swan. We're home. Let's get you inside. I can carry you…if you'd like. You have no shoes."

"No…I can walk, I think. I just…just stay close, okay? Please, Mr. Cullen?"

"Mr…Of course…I'll be right beside you."

The door at his side opened and he slid the short way across the seat toward it, bringing me with him. He had to release me to duck outside, but he instantly reached back in and said, "Here…give me your hand."

The warmth of his large hand engulfed my own and he helped pull me from the seat and outside. Before the blanket had a chance to slip from me, his other hand quickly grabbed the edges and held it closed until I could get a hand on it myself. I was mostly covered as I gingerly made my way across the walk and through the gate leading to a large, multi-storied house. It was the only impression I was able to form in the almost full dark that had, by now, descended. Before we made it all the way up the steps leading to double front doors, both doors were thrown open and standing there was Dr. Cullen, with his wife beside him.

Mrs. Cullen released a small gasp when she saw me.

"Oh you poor thing. Oh…come inside. Bring her inside, Edward. Carlisle…move aside please, dearest, and let her in."

Dr. Cullen didn't protest her completely taking control of the situation but moved aside as she'd asked.

"Take her upstairs, Edward…to her room. We'll follow you up." Dr. Cullen instructed.

By this time we were inside…in a large open foyer…and my eyes took in a sweeping stairway leading to an upper floor.

"So many stairs…" I whispered.

"Don't worry about them. They're not a concern." And before I _could_ worry more about them, he once again swooped me into his very strong arms and began walking toward them.

"Edward…careful!" Mrs. Cullen's voice.

"Don't worry, Esme. I carried her down the stairs where we found her. I can carry her up the stairs here. She doesn't weigh anything at all."

The second I felt his arms come 'round and under me, I melted into his embrace. He was safety, he was warmth…he was protection and comfort and rescue. I sighed and lay my head on his chest as he easily carried me up the flight of stairs, his steps and the gentle swaying that resulted serving to calm me further.

Dr. and Mrs. Cullen hurried past us and were waiting by an open door on the second floor…an open door to what must be 'my' room. I was carried in and over to a small, overstuffed chair where he, Edward, gingerly set me down and re-gathered the blanket around me before looking up at the doctor and his wife.

"Where are her things? She's going to need clothes. She's only in her underthings…and my jacket."

I was surprised to hear Mrs. Cullen say, "Her bags are in the closet. What shall I get? Shall I get nightclothes? I should get nightclothes." She approached the chair and bent down to look at me.

"Bella, dear? Is it alright if I open your bags and find you something to wear? I think perhaps you'll want to have a bath and change into something and then we'll get you something for tea and get you to bed. You've got to be exhausted. May I look for your nightclothes?" I looked into her eyes and saw tears welling there. Did I look _that _bad?

I nodded and she moved across the room to a closet where, when she pulled opened the doors, I was surprised to see both of my large suitcases as well as my carry-on and the case for my laptop.

"My things are here? All my things? How are my things here?"

Dr. Cullen answered.

"When they drove off with you, they left the cart with your bags on it. That's how we knew something had happened to you, Bella. Someone found the cart…abandoned on the walkway. They notified the airport authorities who then called the police. Thanks to Edward, your things were brought here…for when we found you. We never doubted we would find you. We'll have further explanations later, alright?"

He stared into my eyes and I nodded in agreement. I was so tired. All I wanted to do was take a bath and go to sleep.

"I thought we should have a doctor look at you and it shouldn't be me…I'm your employer, after all…so I called someone, a friend of mine…Dr. Haines. She doesn't live far. She should be here soon." He looked to his wife. "Esme, maybe you could keep a lookout for her, please?" Mrs. Cullen managed a sad smile in my direction, laid some pajamas I recognized onto the bed and then said, "Of course, dear," and left the room.

I really didn't think a doctor was necessary, but Dr. Cullen looked so concerned.

"I'm sure I'm okay. I mean…I was only missing for a little while. I'm sure I'm okay. I'm just tired. I'm sure I'm…okay." Was I trying to convince them…or myself?

Dr. Cullen and his brother looked at each other and then back down at me.

"What? What is it?" I looked from one to the other. "Tell me."

"Miss Swan," my rescuer said gently, "perhaps more time has elapsed than you think. You were missing for the better part of two days."

"Two…days? I was missing for two days? They had me bound and gagged and blind for two days?" And with no warning whatsoever I began violently shaking…as if I was freezing cold…only I knew it was warm in the room. I was just trembling all over.

Dr. Cullen looked at me, "Bella, I don't know what's keeping Dr. Haines, but I can give you something to help calm you."

Then, "Edward, my bag is on the table in the foyer. Can you get it for me, please."

When he turned to leave, I didn't even think before shouting "No! You said you'd stay! Don't leave!" I needed him…only him…I was safe with him. He stopped and turned to his brother. "I'll stay with her, Carlisle. I did say I would. I think it might be better if you got your bag. She'll be alright with me for a minute." They exchanged a look and Dr. Cullen was the one who turned and left the room.

"Miss Swan..." he squatted down in front of me so that our eyes were on the same level, "…I'll stay with you as long as I can, but you have to understand that I will need to leave the room when the doctor arrives…and…when Esme helps you with your bath. And, I'll want to check on the investigation."

"But…" I began…but was silenced by his finger placed gently but briefly against my lips and a low "Shhhh…" coming from his.

"I promise I'll not be far away while you're being looked after. I won't break that promise. But you have to let the proper people see to you. Will you do that for me? It's important." His eyes…I could see just how green they were now that there was sufficient light…stared intently into mine.

"But I'm afraid. I…don't know if I can. This isn't like me…but…"

"None of us will let anything else happen to you. I promise that too. You're safe here. The house is alarmed and we've got guards stationed 'round the grounds. We'll find the others." He suddenly looked angry.

"The others? What do you mean "the others"? How many? You didn't catch them?" I could feel myself on the verge of full blown panic now that I knew my kidnappers were still out there.

"Listen...the doctor will be here any minute…I'll explain it all to you soon…I will…but for now you have to trust me. Will you trust me?" The sincerity I saw in his eyes made me know I had to try, so I nodded slowly.

At that moment, Dr. Cullen entered the room with his medical bag in hand. He sat it on the table beside the chair and removed a syringe and small bottle from inside it. I shrank into the chair and continued to shudder and shake.

"This is just a mild relaxant, Bella…It's only going to pinch a bit and it's not a sedative but you need something to help calm you until Dr. Haines can get here. Esme called her. Her car had a flat tire, if you can believe it. It'll be a bit more of a wait. This will help in the meantime. Is that alright with you? You don't have an allergy to any medications, do you?"

"No." I whispered. "I'm not allergic to anything…but I don't like needles." I could feel the blood draining from my face.

Dr. Cullen looked at his brother who pried one of my hands loose of its grip on the blanket, took it in his and said,

"Here…look at me. Don't look at Carlisle. It'll just take a moment and you'll feel much better soon. He'll swab your arm to sterilize the site and then it'll be over soon after."

As he was talking to me, the blanket and jacket were pulled down from my other arm. I felt a cold wetness and then a sharp sting…but it only lasted a few seconds. A moment later, I felt Dr. Cullen apply a small bandage.

"You see…it's finished already. Just relax now." I kept looking into his eyes as he fussed over the repositioning of his jacket and the blanket on my shoulder. Dr. Cullen was occupied with the syringe and his bag…his back to us.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen…I…don't know how to thank you."

"First, you can please not call me 'Mr. Cullen'. Carlisle and Esme are your employers, so you can call him Dr. Cullen and you can call her, Mrs. Cullen…but I am not your employer and you will please call me Edward. Alright?" He smiled…and it was lovely in the light. It took me a minute to speak…but he waited patiently.

"Only if I'm not Miss Swan to you then." I felt the worst of the trembling begin to subside as I spoke.

"Well…it wouldn't seem right if I'm involved in your case…"

I interrupted him.

"I understand…Mr. Cullen."

He sighed.

"Alright. I'm not actually in charge of your case. I'm an 'interested party'. I was there tonight because of my connection to Carlisle. What shall I call you then, since Miss Swan is disagreeable to you?"

My left hand still gripped the blanket, but I snaked my right hand out from under and held it out to him. He stared down at it for just a moment before realizing my intention. When he did, he took my hand in his and looked into my eyes. I shook his hand and said,

"I'm very pleased to know you, Edward. Please…call me Bella."


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N This is just a little something...an appetizer, if you will...to tide you over while I am on vacation until the end of the month (and most likely unable to update until then). Wanted to give you a little something. I WILL have time to write while I'm away. So that's a good thing! See you in a couple of weeks. :) Thanks for reading!  
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><p><em>Chapter Six<em>

"Very well…Bella. I'll try to remember." And the smile reappeared on his face.

"Thank you, Edward. I appreciate that very much." Reluctantly, I released his hand.

Mrs. Cullen entered the room just then, trailed by a short, rather plump, slightly gray haired woman carrying a bag almost identical to the one which had held Dr. Cullen's attention for the last few minutes; a medical bag, then. This was the doctor.

She came directly over to me and "tsk, tsk'd" under her breath before introducing herself. "Hello, Miss Swan. I'm Dr. Haines." She held her hand out to me and I took it.

"Please…call me Bella. And…why did you "tsk" under your breath? What do I look like for heaven's sake? Mrs. Cullen looked at me strangely too. Where's the bathroom? Where's a mirror? What's wrong with me?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. That was not very professional of me. It's just you look such a little thing and to know what you've been through. It's mostly just a general impression dear. I apologize. We all just feel so terrible about what happened to you the minute you stepped foot in our country. And, the bruise…well, I'm sure that will heal and fade nicely. Not to worry."

"Bruise? What bruise? Where?" The pitch of my voice escalated with each word and I found and searched Edward's face.

He knelt again so that we were face to face.

"Bella…there's a pretty nasty bruise on your cheekbone. You must have been…hit…rather hard, I imagine." His teeth were clenched as he spoke this last bit. "You don't remember being struck?"

My hand flew to my cheek and I hissed as it touched. My cheekbone was extremely tender. I hadn't even noticed.

Once again, the doctor spoke, "I'm sure it will be fine, but I'll need to touch around it a bit. We might even need to take an x-ray if it doesn't seem appreciably better in the next day or two. We'll see how it goes, yes?"

"Dr. Haines is telling you the truth, Bella. It looks rather bad, that's all. I'm surprised your eye isn't black and swollen, actually. It'll be taken care of. Don't worry."

I nodded and returned my gaze to the doctor.

"Are you ready, Miss Swan? And then Esme will draw a bath for you and you can have something to eat and get to bed. Have you had anything to drink?" She looked at the people around me.

"She had a little water in the car when I first got her in." Edward told her. "I don't know about before." He looked to me. "Bella?"

"They let me have some water once. I really don't know how long ago that was. I kind of faded in and out and I slept. I was very thirsty by the time I got something…and by the time Edward gave me more in the car."

"Esme, can you arrange a tray, water…maybe some juice and tea. I don't think we need an IV for fluids…but she really needs to drink something. Something light to eat as well, please."

"Of course." Mrs. Cullen said and left the room.

"Gentlemen…I'll ask you to leave the room now, please?" she looked from Dr. Cullen to Edward.

My eyes immediately went to Edward as well. I knew he couldn't stay with me while the doctor examined me. I didn't even know him…but I wanted him close by. I felt safe with him close by.

He nodded at me in answer to a question I hadn't had to ask.

"I'll be right outside the door the entire time, Bella. I promise. I do want to see what's going on, but I'll use my phone for now. I promise I won't leave until you've been seen to and are ready to sleep. Alright?"

"Alright. Thank you, Edward."

He and Carlisle walked out into the hall, closing the door behind them.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N It's been much longer than I anticipated it would be for this update. I ended up NOT having time to write at all while I was on vacation and then it was very difficult to get back into for awhile. Please accept my apologies. With that said...I'm leaving Chapter Six at its "teaser" length and getting on with this one...Chapter Seven. I think I'm back on track and that updates will come on a regular basis again. Thanks for sticking with me. Love reviews...Please leave one if you have a moment. Thanks again! (Oh! And I'm not a doctor so...please bear with me if I've made glaring errors in a treatment protocol.)**__  
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><p><em>Chapter Seven<em>

Dr. Haines did her best to put me at ease once the door had closed and it was just the two of us left in the room.

"Miss Swan, I promise to make this as quick and painless as possible. I can't imagine the stress you've been under the past couple of days and I think one of the things that will do you the most good over the next few is going to be plenty of rest. Let's get on with this, shall we…so you can start getting that rest." She smiled benevolently down on me from her position by my chair.

I nodded.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Well, first off let's have a closer look at your cheek. I really doubt your cheekbone is fractured. You'd most likely be in a significant amount of pain were that the case, and I would expect more swelling as well. It might be a bit uncomfortable while I touch around it, however. Can you manage without something first for pain, do you think?"

I nodded again.

"I think so."

"Alright then…let's have a look." And she bent over me and gently prodded the area surrounding my cheekbone. It was tender, but not as bad as I'd feared it would be. It wasn't until she gently touched the bone itself, right beneath my eye, that I felt an increase in the pain and tenderness. I sucked in a breath.

"That's the worst of it. I know that's the most tender spot, but I think it might just be that it got the brunt of the force from whatever hit you. We'll keep a watch on it for a couple of days. If it's not better, we'll have an x-ray. I think an ice pack on it for now might be helpful. We'll see if we can get one for you. Now…I'll need you to remove the blanket if that's alright?"

I released my grip on the blanket and let it slip from my shoulders.

"Oh." She said. "And the…jacket, please."

I was less happy about relinquishing the embrace of Edward's jacket, but I did as she asked and the examination began.

Dr. Haines was gentle and caring. I felt comfortable as she took my blood pressure, listened to my heart and lungs and checked my eyes, ears and throat. I was fine until she mentioned that she should take a blood sample. My pulse quickened. Needles…again.

"Do you have to do that, Dr. Haines? I really have a fear of needles. Why do you need my blood?"

"Please don't let it worry you, Miss Swan. I've been doing this for a long time. I'm very good at it. Checking your blood is just a part of a good examination in this situation."

She saw the look on my face. It was obvious that I wasn't convinced.

"How about this…" she said, "Let me take a look at your arms. I'll be able to tell you how difficult I think it would be to get a sample from you. May I?"

Well…that couldn't hurt, could it? I nodded my agreement.

Dr. Haines nodded as well and picked up my left arm, the same arm she'd used to take my blood pressure and prodded and palpated the inside of my elbow. Without saying anything, she released it and reached for my right. I'd been holding it tucked in close to my body. I guess I wasn't quite as comfortable as I'd thought. When it unfolded and she stretched it out, both of us couldn't help but notice the small, dark purple bruise inside the crook of my elbow. She bent over my arm and examined the site closely.

"You've a puncture here, Miss Swan. Do you remember getting it?"

I was still staring at my arm as I slowly shook my head, back and forth. I looked up and met Dr. Haines' gaze.

"What would it be? Did they take my blood too…when I was unconscious? Why would they do that?" I returned my stare to my arm and the tell-tale discoloration.

"I don't think they took your blood. Assuming they knew what they were doing, the needle to remove your blood would most likely have been a larger gauge. It would have left a larger puncture wound. This puncture looks very small…difficult to see, actually. I would guess that they administered something to you…most likely something to keep you unconscious, but we can't really be certain. We really should take a blood sample now, Miss Swan. There may be a trace still in your blood of what that might have been. I think we should find out if we can. Please."

Her earnest look of concern swayed me. The shock of knowing that something had been put into my body without my consent and not knowing what it was pushed me the rest of the way. I nodded my head in affirmation.

Once the unpleasantness of being pierced with a rather large bore needle was over (Dr. Haines really was as good as she said and it was over quickly, but it still hurt), she labeled the tubes that now held my blood and packed them into a special area of her case.

"I think we're finished for now. I'll be checking back with you for at least a few days. If anything changes in the way you're feeling or something comes up that concerns you, Dr. Cullen will be nearby, of course, in an emergency…but I want you to know you can call me immediately as well. Do you promise me you'll do that?" I nodded my assent.

While giving me these instructions, Dr. Haines had picked up my robe from where Mrs. Cullen had left it on the bed next to my pajamas. She handed it to me and I slipped it on, wrapping and tying the belt snugly at my waist. The comfort and warmth of my familiar robe was more welcome than I expected. I sighed and curled up on the chair, tucking my feet beneath me. Dr. Haines stood next to the chair and looked down at me.

"Now…let me call Esme and you can have a small snack and then a bath. I imagine that will feel very nice at this point. I'll leave you to discuss the medical details of your examination with the Cullens, but since there is a criminal investigation going on, I will be obliged to share what I found with the police. I should have mentioned that sooner. You do understand the necessity?"

I was still processing the fact that I'd been injected with an unknown substance, and my answer was another nod.

Dr. Haines finished putting the little vials of blood that she had taken from my arm into her medical bag. She'd assured me the results wouldn't take more than a day or so and that I shouldn't worry about anything in the meantime.

I was still trying to understand how I was supposed to do that…the not worrying thing…when she went to the door, opened it and began talking. I couldn't see who she sent away to let Mrs. Cullen know that I could have tea and food now. I was sure it must be Edward who had gone, so I was surprised when I saw him slip past the doctor and into the room. He came straight across to me…his eyes on mine as he crossed the thick carpet.

"You're still here." I said, looking up at him when he reached my side.

"I promised you I'd wait outside the door. I don't break promises."

"I…It's just that I thought you were the one Dr. Haines sent to find Mrs. Cullen…just now."

"No…Carlisle left for awhile, but he came back upstairs a few minutes ago. He's gone to get Esme and to help her with your tray."

"I'm glad you stayed. Will you stay while I eat? If I _can _eat?"

A look of concern crossed his face. Edward looked around the room, his eyes settling on the chair in front of a delicately beautiful writing desk. Crossing to it, he lifted the chair and walked it back over to where I sat. He placed it in front of me and lowered himself onto it before he spoke.

"Are you afraid you won't be able to eat? You should be starving. Is something wrong?"

He turned his head toward the door where Dr. Haines had been a moment before, but she was nowhere to be seen. I stared at his not-yet-familiar profile. His brow was furrowed and it remained that way as he again turned to face me.

"You can tell me. I only want to help. Is there something I can do?"

"I'm just worried." I told him. "My stomach is in knots. I'm not sure I feel like eating right now. I…I don't really have an appetite."

"Worried? Please, Miss Swa…" he stopped himself "...Bella…please try not to worry. You are safe now. I'm going to make sure you stay that way."

"It's not that I'm worried about my safety…Edward." I'd not said his name aloud more than a handful of times, but I loved the sound of it as it fell from my mouth and traveled to my ears.

"Then what is it?" His hands started to reach for mine and then stopped. He returned them to rest atop his thighs, but he leaned forward a little more in his chair.

I took a breath.

"They…Dr. Haines thinks that they…injected me with something. She doesn't know what. She found an injection site inside my arm. I know it was probably something to keep me unconscious…but what if…it wasn't? Or what if the needle wasn't sterile? What if they _gave _me something? What if they…_contaminated _me with something?"

The panic was on top of me almost before I was aware of it…definitely before I could do anything to try to bring it under control. I began to shake again, as I had before and all of a sudden I found it hard to catch my breath. My look must have conveyed the terror I felt because in an instant he responded.

Edward stood and reached down for me, his arms engulfing me as he lifted me to my feet. He moved an arm beneath my legs and hurriedly carried me over to the bed, sitting me gently on it and then seating himself close beside me. Both arms were around me now and he pulled me close.

"Please, Bella…please. It'll be alright. I'll _make_ it alright. I…promise."


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: I'm not always sure whether it's best to update more frequently with shorter chapters...or less frequently with longer chapters. (I'm sure reader's would most likely answer MORE frequently with LONGER chapters! lol) I've been fighting through a bit of a "writer's block" lately..and so you've had to wait much longer than I'd planned. Because of that, I'm updating now...with a shorter than normal chapter. Hope that's acceptable. As always...I do appreciate you still being here. Thanks so much!**__  
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><p><em>CHAPTER EIGHT<br>_

I felt his breath move my hair as he spoke into it.

We sat that way for a few moments…much too short a time for me…before he released me. I wanted his arms around me again but I couldn't ask. I knew it wasn't fair to burden him with comforting me…a total stranger…in such a way. He'd already taken on a lot of responsibility for me. That had to be enough.

I took a deep breath and, with considerable effort, got myself under control.

We sat that way for a few moments more…quietly. He stayed close…but he didn't touch me again. It was just beginning to feel a little awkward when Mrs. Cullen entered the room bearing a tray laden with dishes. She gave a glance in our direction and the tiniest of frowns fleetingly touched her forehead. It was there for just a second, but I was sure I had seen it. She stopped beside the chair.

"Edward, can you please be a dear and clear the chair for me? Bella, why don't you come sit back here? You can be comfortable while you eat a little something."

As soon as she spoke, Edward was up and moving both the blanket and his jacket from where they had been draped over the chair back. That's where they had landed when I'd put my robe on in their place. He crossed back to the bed and laid them at the foot, then extended his hand to me. I watched Mrs. Cullen as he reached for me and there was that same, _almost_ imperceptible, twitch between her brows.

I ignored his hand and rose to my feet on my own.

"I'm fine thanks. I can do it." I offered a small smile. I wasn't sure what to think about Mrs. Cullen's expressions, but I didn't want to cause a problem for Edward if she was unhappy about the extent of his attentions toward me. Maybe that wasn't the case, but she had frowned for _some _reason…twice.

The belt of my robe had loosened so I cinched it a little tighter and made my way to the chair. As soon as I sat, Mrs. Cullen placed the tray over my lap, its fold out legs on either side of mine. I glanced down to see lovely china plates and bowls filled with a variety of foods.

Oatmeal (did they call it porridge here, or was that old fashioned?) was in one bowl, a variety of fresh fruit pieces in another. There was toast and a scone on one small plate, the toast adorned with a pat of melting butter, and two pieces of crispy bacon on another. Finally, a small steaming tea pot, a sugar bowl and a doll sized pitcher of cream sat beside a dainty cup and saucer. The tray was full.

"I was actually going to make more of a dinner meal for you, but Carlisle said something a bit lighter might settle more easily. We just weren't sure of your tastes so I brought a little variety. I hope there's something you like?" She removed a linen napkin from beneath the utensils and held it out to me.

Placing it in my lap, I looked up and tried to smile and look hungry. I didn't want her to think I was ungrateful…but I was not sure how much of this I could eat.

"I think I'll start with the tea and toast…but it all looks and smells heavenly, Mrs. Cullen. Thank you so much."

"No need to thank me. Just try to eat something and then we can show you where everything is in your bathroom and you can have a bath…or a shower if you prefer. It has both. Would you like company while you eat?"

Without thinking, I turned my eyes to Edward…and then I could have kicked myself. Of course she was thinking of herself as my company. Before I could open my mouth to speak and say I would be happy for her to stay, Edward spoke.

"I'll stay with her, Esme and I'll see that she eats what she can. I actually need to speak to Bella a bit more before she tries to get some sleep. Now might be a good time." He faced me. "Is that alright with you, Bella?"

"Of course. You can stay too, Mrs. Cullen, if you'd like. Thank you so much for this." I indicated the tray with a nod.

"No dear, it's fine. If Edward needs to speak with you, I'll leave you to it. I've got some things that need my attention. I just didn't want to leave you without company."

"I've told Bella I'll not leave her until she's ready for me to, Esme. I promised."

_That_ look came a third time, but she just nodded and said, "Of course, Edward. I'll be back in awhile."

"I'll call you when she's finished." he added, as Mrs. Cullen moved to the door. She didn't answer but closed the door softly as she left.

Edward took his seat in the desk chair again. It was once more placed in front of where I sat, looking down at the tray.

"I don't know if I can…I'm not sure…" and that was all I could get out before the lump in my throat blocked the way for further speech.

My vision blurred and I knew tears had formed in my eyes. This all seemed so lovely…so normal and nice…but the reason I was here in this chair and being waited on by the woman who was my employer was for a reason that was anything _but _normal and nice. A single tear fell from where it had caught on my lashes, landing silently on the edge of the piece of toast, where it perched for a second before being sucked into the pores of the bread. I tried to blink the others away…but I was too late and a few more followed the first. That was when I saw his hand reaching out and felt his fingers under my chin. He exerted gentle pressure there until I looked up at him.

His eyes never left mine as his thumb touched my skin, first across one cheek and then moving to the other, banishing the wetness trailing there. The gentleness of his caress took my breath away. The warmth in his eyes sent a flutter through my stomach. How could I be feeling such a connection to someone I had only met? How could such a simple touch illicit such a response from me? I knew he was only being kind and feeling sorry for me. I had to remember that.

I reached up and stopped his hand…pulling it away from my cheek. I didn't want to release it from my own grasp, but I did, smiling weakly at him.

"I'm fine. I think maybe I'll just have weepy bouts for awhile. But…I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just don't know about eating." I looked unhappily back at the tray. "But…I'll try. Mrs. Cullen fixed it for me and I know I should have something…so I'll try."

"That's good. Just try. Here…let me fix your tea while you take a bite of that salty toast."

"Salty…? Oh…from the tears. Yeah…I think I'll eat the other half. I don't particularly like salty toast. Thanks anyway."

He sat almost knee to knee with me and busied himself with preparing my tea…asking about lemon, or sugar or milk. I spread the butter to the non-salty side of the bread and took a bite of crunchy toast…studying him and his movements as surreptitiously as I could.

His hands _were _large, but his movements were precise and he handled the small pots and the cup with the ease of experience. It only took a moment before he lifted the saucer bearing a steaming cup of tea…with just a little sugar…no lemon _or _milk…and held it out to me.

"Ready? I think this will actually be very beneficial."

I took the cup from his steady hands and noticed there was barely the slightest tremor in my own. I was calmer with him here. I was calmer doing something so simple…so normal…as eating a few bites of toast and drinking a cup of tea. That's what I wanted…normalcy…as soon as I could get it.

I sipped and swallowed and I swear I felt the sweet warmth flood all the way through me to my toes. It was so good. I breathed in the steam and scent, closing my eyes in appreciation.

"Good?" he asked.

Eyes still closed, I shook my head.

"No? What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's not just good…it's heavenly." I sipped again and then opened my eyes to his smile.

"I was worried for a moment there. I wasn't quite sure how I could have botched fixing a cup of tea with nothing in it but a little sugar. So…keep on with the toast then…or maybe a bit of fruit…and, if it's alright, we'll talk a little while you eat?"

I nodded, looked into his eyes…and took another sip.

And he began…


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: I was going to split this into two chapters because it's much longer than is usual for me (and it would let me update with the second part much sooner as it would already be written) but...there just wasn't a place that felt right to "cut" it. It seemed to want to be one chapter...so I left it alone. I hope you like where this story seems to be going. **_

_**I know some of you ask about "regular" updates...or when the next update will be. I wish I could tell you but...I can't write to a schedule. If I try, what comes out is crap. I can tell you I try to write almost every day. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. I hope, even though neither of us knows when an update will come, that you like this story enough to stick with it. I do.  
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_**Every writer loves readers so please, if you do like 'Panic', reviews and recommendations are much appreciated. Thank you!  
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><p><em>Chapter Nine<em>

A crooked grin touched his lips as he spoke, "I have to tell you that it's quite difficult for me to address you by your given name when I'm…working. If we start by my asking questions…by my "interrogating" you, for lack of a better word…I have a feeling I'll slip frequently and it will be 'Miss Swan'. Don't hold it against me, will you?"

"I'll try not to…but I really prefer Bella from you."

"Then maybe I _shouldn't_ be questioning you. Maybe I should let you take the lead. Would you feel up to asking questions of me? I'm sure you have some…quite a few, most probably. How about we try it that way?"

I actually liked that idea…and I told him so.

"Alright. We'll do it that way, on the condition that you try to eat a little something between questions…while I'm answering. Do we have a deal?"

I looked down at the tray…untouched except for tea and half a piece of toast. I was pretty sure I could do a little more. I nodded. "Deal."

"I'm ready when you are." He scooted the desk chair back from me enough to allow him the room to rest one ankle on his opposite knee. For the first time I noticed his shoes…large, scuffed, black dress shoes.

I looked away from his shoes and up to his face, and asked a question that I couldn't believe had just then popped into my head.

"My parents…What about my parents? Have you contacted them? Do they know what happened? Are they coming?" How could I not have thought to ask about them earlier on?

"We _have_ tried calling your parents, of course. They were listed as your emergency contact on the information you provided Carlisle and Esme, but haven't been able to reach them, Bella. We've been assured they're alright and you should hear from them in a week or so."

"A _week_ or so? Where are they? How do you know they're alright?"

"Well…it appears that they're on an extended backpacking trip. Carlisle reached an answering machine when he called and left a message saying there was an urgent need for a call back…without giving details, of course. It's not the kind of thing one would leave in a message. Apparently, a neighbor is collecting the post and watering plants and checking messages. The neighbor called back and let Carlisle know your parents are somewhere in the northwestern wilderness. They're supposed to be checking in with the neighbor...in another six days. It seems they're not reachable and have to be the ones making contact. I'm sorry we've not gotten hold of them…but in some ways, it's probably better that we didn't. Now, when they call, you can speak with them. You can let them know you're here...that you're safe. That's a much better call than it would have been before."

"I'm so glad they don't know. They would have been worried sick. They would have been _here_…and worried sick. How much did you tell the neighbor? Oh…and who is it?"

"The neighbor is a Mrs. Norton? Newton? I'm sorry…I should remember this. It's written down in the report, of course. I just don't have the notes."

"Mrs. Newton. She lives next door to them."

"Carlisle didn't tell her anything specific at the time. She was worried, of course. She obviously knows it's regarding you. She was returning a call to London, after all. She left her direct number and asked us to call her when we could. Shall we do that soon…now that we have you back?"

"Yes…but maybe Carlisle can just tell her there was a scare, that I was delayed…missed a flight or something…and the Cullens were concerned, but I'm here safe and sound now. Please don't tell her anything else. It'll be all over the neighborhood. She's a very nice woman, and a long time friend of my parents, but she loves to talk…to everyone. I'd rather it not be all over town before I have a chance to speak to my parents."

"Of course. I'll see that she's notified…with just that information. Now…another bite of something…and then another question." He looked at my tray.

I picked up a piece of bacon and took a nibble…thinking the taste of it might be too much. Instead, surprisingly, it was wonderful. I took a larger bite and crunched appreciatively. The rest of the slice quickly disappeared.

"Well…we've found something you seem rather fond of…even under these circumstances." He was smiling openly now…watching me pick up the second piece, dispatching it in the same manner as I had the first.

"Shall I have Esme prepare another few slices?"

I swallowed as I shook my head.

"No…no more…but that was perfect." I sipped more tea.

"Another question for me?"

"The children. Where are Alice and Emmett? No one has mentioned them tonight."

"They're fine. They're actually with their grandmother for now…Esme's mother. It has nothing to do with what happened to you, by the way. Carlisle and Esme had been talking this past week and thinking it might be a good idea for you to become acclimated to the time change as well as for you to have a little time to get accustomed to the house and the neighborhood before being _consumed _by the children and their schedules. They had already sent the children off before you arrived. They're just going to extend their visit a little longer than originally planned…but they're fine. Esme's mother and father live on what they call their _farm_…a few hours away. The children love it there. It's all ponies and ducks and small, furry creatures and their grandparents dote on them so…they're in heaven. You don't get to worry about them at all for another couple of weeks."

"A couple of weeks? That hardly seems fair to Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. I…they're not going to start paying me yet then. I won't accept anything if I'm not working."

"What's happened has no bearing on you not actually having duties for the children yet, Bella. You will have a job to do…even before the children arrive home…when you're up to it. I'm sure Carlisle and Esme will explain better than I can, but…honestly…they intended for you not to have charge of the children for your first couple of weeks. They just hadn't told you. Please don't worry about that yet. Please?"

"I'll think about it. I definitely need to speak to them about this." I wasn't planning to accept pay for a job I wasn't doing.

"I think I see a stubborn streak, Miss Swan…just…" his right hand moved toward me, "here…" and the pad of his thumb pressed softly against the crease between my brows before moving up slightly…and then away.

I stared at him…and he returned it with one of matching intensity…before a look I couldn't quite decipher…confusion, displeasure, discomfort…crossed his face and he pulled away completely…abruptly standing and moving from his chair.

He jammed his hands into the pockets of his slacks and paced back and forth once or twice before stopping and facing me…on the far side of his chair.

"Another question?" he asked…unsmiling.

This one was going to be more difficult…I had to remain calm. I had to get through this.

"You said something earlier about finding "the others". I still don't know any of the details about who did this…who took me…and why. How many were there? Do you even know?"

He remained standing…unmoving.

"There are detectives interrogating the man we caught. I got a little information while you were with the doctor. He says there were two more…he named them. We weren't too surprised when he told us, actually.

I didn't understand that comment at all until Edward began explaining that the man who was caught…his first name was Laurent…had worked for Dr. and Mrs. Cullen as a groundskeeper and handyman for about six months. The others…a man named James and a woman named Victoria…were also former employees. James and Victoria were actually husband and wife. All three had been terminated from their positions just a couple of weeks before.

Edward didn't want to go into the reasons for their termination just then…and I didn't press for them. It was still difficult for me to grasp that a woman had been part of the torment I had been put through. I'd known there _was_ a woman involved once I'd heard her voice…but it was still hard to accept.

"Did they…do this for money? Did they think Dr. Cullen would pay a ransom for me? They can't have thought that. It makes no sense."

"Well no…it's become apparent that that was not what they were planning." Edward now looked angry. His fists were clenched at his sides.

I managed to put into words the thought that had come to me while I was still held captive.

"They were going to…sell me." He remained silent. "Weren't they?"

I searched his face…wondering if he was going to try to lie to me.

He paused and swallowed before he spoke, but he didn't avoid my eyes and he told me the truth.

"It seems that was the plan, yes."

"Are you sure? Is that what _he _told you?"

"That is what he told us…but that's not the only thing. His account of it has been corroborated by some concrete evidence found at the scene…after you and I left to come here."

"What kind of "concrete evidence"?"

"It seems they had…" the pause and swallow again, "filmed you…and taken photos. There were also some notes about when and how you were to be transferred to…the buyer."

My voice was barely a whisper to my own ears as I said,

"The buyer? There was actually, already, a buyer?" I moaned…and covered my face with my hands.

Edward was instantly beside me and removing the tray from over my lap. He placed it unceremoniously on the floor and then pulled me up from the chair and into his arms. I heard him speak under his breath.

"I shouldn't do this. Fuck. I can't…_not _do this…" and his arms held me up and close to his chest.

"Enough for now, Bella. That's enough for now…for tonight. I'm sorry. I'm really so sorry but I do promise you that it will be alright…eventually. I'll make it alright."

He unwrapped his arms from around me long enough to lift and carry me the few steps to the bed where he laid me carefully on the duvet.

"I'll call Esme. You should have a bath and get to bed. We'll talk more tomorrow. I promise I'll answer all your questions. I'll just be a moment."

I didn't have even the strength to protest him leaving this time. Knowing without a doubt that someone had _bought _me…that I had come close to losing everything in life that mattered to me, had rendered me speechless.

Edward walked quickly to the closed bedroom door and yanked it open. I had expected him to leave…to go find Mrs. Cullen…but I heard him _yell _down the stairs. His voice was deep and powerful and must have carried well because it was only a few moments before I heard Mrs. Cullen's voice answering as she came up the stairway.

I heard Edward explain that we were finished talking for tonight…that he thought it best I have a bath and get some rest. He told her where our conversation had ended. Mrs. Cullen came the rest of the way into the room and over to the bed where she helped me up.

"Come with me, dear. The bath's just here."

I looked back to where Edward was still standing by the bedroom door leading to the hallway.

"I won't be far." His lips tried to form a reassuring smile…and didn't altogether succeed…or maybe it seemed that way to me because I wasn't positive I _could _be reassured right now.

I let myself be led into a small but lovely bathroom and over to a small bench.

"Just sit here while I run the water…or do you prefer a shower?" Mrs. Cullen looked over her shoulder at me, her hand poised over the fixture.

"A bath would be wonderful, please. I'm not sure I'm up for standing under a shower right now."

"That was my thought. A nice soak will do you a world of good…and then we can tuck you into bed for the night."

I sat, dumbly staring at the tile floor while she fussed with knobs and tested the temperature of the water. Finally…it must have met with her approval and she turned back to me.

"Do you…need help getting yourself in, dear? I'll be happy to help you, but I don't want to presume…" she let her voice fade away.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Cullen. I really can do that myself. I'm…okay. Thank you again."

"Very well, dear. I'll leave you to it then." She paused at the doorway leading to the bedroom and turned back to face me.

"Just call if you need anything. I imagine Edward will hear you and he can call for me."

"I'm sure I'll be fine…but I'll call if I need something." I tried to find a smile to offer her…and managed a weak one. She returned it…and then she walked out, closing the door behind her.

As soon as I heard the latch click into place…as soon as I knew I was completely alone in a small, closed room…I felt the beginnings of panic wash over me. I tried to make myself stand and walk over to where the tub was filling with slightly steaming water. I tried. I couldn't. I sat for a minute more, gripping the sides of the bench, hoping it would help. It didn't. Finally, I lurched over to the door Mrs. Cullen had closed and pulled it open so quickly that I almost lost my balance and fell backward.

I looked through the doorway and into the startled eyes of Edward. I was startled as well…and expelled a little shriek at the surprise of seeing him sitting in the chair I had recently vacated. He stood and quickly came over to me…still standing there with the doorknob in my hand…in a death grip.

"What is it, Bella? What's wrong?" he made as if to move around me and enter the bathroom…to find the threat behind me, but when I spoke, he stopped.

"You're here. I thought…I was alone. I…The door closed and I was alone and I…but…you're here." I knew I was rambling and I managed to stop and look up at him.

He sighed…not in exasperation…but in relief.

"Bella…I know you are an intelligent young woman." My heart was slowing back to normal now that he was standing near me…and I continued looking up. "I say that as a way of explaining my confusion over the fact that you don't seem to be grasping the concept of "I promise"."

"What?" I felt as if I were as dumb as toast. What did he mean?

"I told you…I _promised_ you…that I wouldn't leave you alone. I'm perplexed as to why you thought I would be gone…why you didn't believe me."

"Did you mean that then…literally? I…I didn't think you meant it, literally. How can you do that?"

"It's been arranged. I've gotten myself assigned to you…to be your 'bodyguard', if that term suits you. I will never be more than a room away…until you're ready for me to be. You're going to be so sick and tired of my face that you'll be begging for a little time without me hovering over you." He hadn't touched me during this exchange, but I felt the warmth from him even without a physical touch…and it soothed me.

"You really meant it…the promise."

He nodded slowly…his somewhat disheveled hair…(had he been running his hands through it?) falling onto his forehead.

"Absolutely. I don't ever make a promise lightly, Bella…ever. Now…I hear water running in the…"

"Oh, my gosh! The tub!" I spun around and ran to it…turning the faucets off and seeing that the water was just a few inches from the top. The overflow valve hadn't been completely able to keep up with the amount that was pouring in and I'd almost flooded the bathroom.

I held up the sleeve of my robe while I reached down and opened the drain…holding it that way for a minute…until the water level was sufficiently low enough to allow me to get in without fear of it spilling over the side. I let the closure settle back into place. When I stood and turned, Edward was behind me and holding out a white, fluffy towel.

"So you don't get your sleeve wet." He said. I took it from him and used it to soak up the drops that were clinging to my arm.

"Now…how are we going to do this bath?" he questioned.

"We?" I felt a blush tint my cheeks.

"I mean…what are we going to do so that you feel comfortable? You could leave the door open a bit, I suppose. It isn't necessary though. I _promise _you…I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right in your room."

"I _want_ the door open…just a little. I think the smaller room…closed off…is the problem. I didn't feel claustrophobic in the bedroom with the door closed, but this room is so much smaller than that. I just…don't want the door completely closed. For now."

"Of course. So…I'll be right out here then." He motioned to the bedroom with his head.

"Alright. I…appreciate that. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He said…and moved through the door, pulling it closed behind him, but stopping short of letting it latch.

I still didn't like the way I felt in the small room, but I thought I could handle it long enough to at least take a bath…maybe not the "soak" Mrs. Cullen had mentioned…but I could get clean and that would feel wonderful.

I pulled open the ties on my robe and let it fall from my shoulders. Once it was off, I laid it across the small bench. For the first time in days, I looked down at my body. I looked…grimy. There weren't any obvious smudges of dirt anywhere but on my feet. I recalled my barefoot trip to the bathroom in the house where I'd been kept…feeling the grit of dirt on the floor. I wanted to see more of me though…not just in bits and pieces…so I turned to face the large mirror over the sink…and gasped a little.

Now, for the first time, I could see the bruise on my cheekbone. It was…colorful, vaguely oval in shape, and about two inches wide across my cheekbone. The most intense purple was right in the center. It lightened just a little as it moved outward, though there was one part that actually seemed a deep red. It hadn't had time to fade to the yellowish tint I knew it would. I wondered how long that would take. I touched it gingerly…with one fingertip. It still hurt.

I hoped I wouldn't look like this the first time I got to see the children again. I'd scare them. Looking in the mirror scared _me. _In addition to that discoloration, there were darkish circles under my eyes. My face looked sallow to me…the color wrong. Could that happen so quickly?

Whatever makeup I'd had on when I left home was, of course, long gone. I didn't use much to begin with, and there wasn't even a whisper left. My long, dark hair was still long and dark, but it was lank and lusterless and so snarled in places that I wasn't sure how long it would take me to actually comb through it. It gave new meaning to the phrase "rat's nest". The thought hit me: '_**This **_is what Edward…and everyone else…has been looking at. Oh my God.'

I couldn't look anymore. I turned away and reached back to unhook my bra, letting it fall to the floor. My panties followed it. I wanted them both burned. I never wanted to wear them again.

I tested the water with my hand and, while it was still hot, it had cooled enough to let me step in and immediately immerse my whole body. That was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was good because the warmth rushed over me and began immediately seeping into me, relaxing muscles that had been mostly tensed for the past couple of days. It was bad because of the stinging pain that came from two places at once…the pad of my big toe and the flesh of my upper arm.

"**Ow**!" popped from my mouth before I could contain it. "Oh…Ow!"

Almost instantly, there was a quick knock on the bathroom door, it was pushed open a little more, and Edward's voice came through the opening.

"What's happened? What's wrong? Did you hurt yourself? Can I help?"

"No! Don't come in! Nothing's wrong. I just found a couple of spots that hurt when the water touched them. I…remember my toe got stabbed by a splinter at one point…and I scraped my upper arm. It stings. It's alright though. I didn't mean to scare you." And then, I shocked myself by letting loose a loud giggle.

"Are you…? Are you laughing?" he sounded incredulous.

"No…I mean…yes, but…I know it's not funny…but I just had this vision of you _flying _across the room because I said 'Ow'. It seems you take your job of bodyguard very seriously, Mr. Cullen." Oh it felt good to laugh at even this little thing.

A loud sigh….

"You have no idea, Miss Swan." A beat of quiet, then…"If you're sure you're alright…" And the door eased mostly closed again.

I finished my bath, carefully washing the stinging parts and scrubbing the rest as vigorously as I could. I wanted to scour my skin. I even managed to wash my hair in the tub, though I stood and rinsed it under the shower nozzle…narrowly missing being doused in cold water when I first turned it on. It warmed quickly and I rinsed, then conditioned and rinsed again. I even managed to pull my fingers through most of the snarls.

When I stepped from the tub sometime later, I felt one hundred percent improved…at least physically. The tub drained behind me as I dried with the soft, white towel I'd earlier used on my wet arm.

I looked around for my pajamas, only to realize I hadn't brought them in with me. They must still be at the foot of the bed where Mrs. Cullen had laid them. I could call and ask Edward to hand them to me…but I decided I'd just put them on before I climbed into bed. I needed to come back into the bathroom to brush my teeth anyway…once I found my toiletries bag.

I put on my robe back and tightened the belt.

There was a brush and comb in one of the vanity drawers and I pulled the comb through with better results than I'd gotten with my fingers. And then I was ready to leave the bathroom. I padded barefoot across the damp tiles and to the door.

When I opened it, I expected to see Edward across the bedroom in 'our' chair. He wasn't there. I felt a fleeting moment of panic before I noticed him…stretched out on top of the bed. The pillow cradled his arms, which were placed beneath his head. His shoeless feet were crossed at the ankles…and lying atop my pajamas. He appeared to be sound asleep…until I took a step toward him. His eyes stayed closed as he turned his head toward me. I stopped.

"Are you trying to sneak up on me, Miss Swan?"

"Are you sleeping on the job, Mr. Cullen?"

"I would never sleep on the job, Miss Swan. I would only give the appearance of sleep, so as to trick the perpetrator into relaxing his…or her…defenses."

"I see." I said…at which he opened his eyes and stared…right into me.

The smile that had been forming on his lips with his last sentence, faded away as I watched. His eyes, still staring at me…widened.

He moved his arms from behind his head and pushed himself into a sitting position...his feet finding the floor. I stayed where I was. Why was he staring at me…and not speaking.

I pulled the collar of my robe closer in to my chest as he stood, stepped forward and stopped right in front of me.

"What?" I said…looking up into serious green eyes that seemed to be searching my face.

"You are so…beautiful," is all he said.

I felt the blush rise all the way from my toes. No man had ever called me beautiful before...ever. And here I was, standing barefoot, in a well worn robe, wet hair beginning to dry but still hanging in strands, bruised face completely free of any makeup…and a man I thought was more handsome than anyone I'd ever met had just called me beautiful. I found my voice.

"Is this another tactic for relaxing defenses, Mr. Cullen?"

"What?" his turn this time.

"Are you trying to trick me into relaxing…my defenses…with flattery?"

"Oh. That wasn't my intention at all, Miss Swan. I am completely sincere. But…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" He blinked and took a step backward.

"Don't apologize…please. Regardless of your intention…my defenses _are_ relaxed…Edward." And I took a step forward.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: **__**Thanks for your patience when it comes to updating (I think I will never again try to write two stories at the same time). I hope you like this chapter. I have to say, I kind of do. **_

_**As always, thanks for reading, recommending to your fellow fanfic readers and reviewing. It means a lot. Next update...just as soon as I possibly can...promise. :)**__  
><em>

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><p><em>CHAPTER TEN<em>

Another step back and his legs were against the side of the bed.

As I began to step toward him, his hands reached forward and grabbed my upper arms.

"Ssssssss!" I sucked in a breath between my clenched teeth and quickly pulled away.

A look of dismay immediately crossed his face.

"What? Did I hurt you? God, I'm sorry. I didn't think I grabbed you that hard. I apologize."

"No…it's okay. It's just the scrape on my right arm. Maybe the hot water made it more sensitive? I _had _to wash it and I tried to be careful, but I think I may have aggravated it. It's fine." I used my left hand to cover the area that was still stinging under the sleeve of my robe. "It's…already better," I lied.

"Let me see. Maybe we should put a bandage on it. Did the doctor say anything about it?" He reached toward me, his fingers taking hold of the collar of my robe.

"No…I'm not sure she really even paid attention to it. We kind of got distracted by the needle puncture. And you can't see it." I pried his fingers open and off.

"Why not?" He frowned down at me. "We probably should put something over to protect it if it's that sensitive."

"Umm…I don't think I can slip _just_ my arm out of my robe…and…umm…my pajamas are still on the bed." My eyes shifted to the side and behind him.

"Your pajamas…? Oh…right. I'm sorry. I didn't think." He took a step away from me again.

"I'll just go put them on…and I'll check my arm. If it needs a bandage, I'll let you know. But I need my tooth brush and things. They're in a small bag...which is inside one of the large bags."

"I think everything is in the closet. Which bag are your toiletries in? I'll get it for you."

Both of my very large bags were identical.

"I'm not sure. I'll have to look inside."

"No problem." He said, and moved around the bed to the closet. He pulled out one of the bags and easily lifted it to the bed. I joined him in front of it as he ran the zipper around it and flipped back the top. It was the right bag.

My toiletries case sat in the corner where I'd tucked it…surrounded by a cushion of delicately lacy panties and bras. Of course.

Edward cleared his throat and moved away from the bed and back around to the overstuffed chair. I noticed again how small it looked when he sat in it. It was completely unsuitable for his long, lean frame.

Lifting out the small case holding all my personal essentials, I hurried back over to the bathroom, grabbing up my pajamas as I passed the foot of the bed.

"I'll just be a few minutes." I said, and closed the door enough for privacy but not for panic.

Slipping out of my robe, I paused briefly to check my arm before climbing into the pajamas Mrs. Cullen had chosen from my bag…the only pair of _real _pajamas I'd brought since my sleepwear usually consisted of shorts and a tank top or tee during the summer and sweats and a long sleeved tee in the winter. These were satiny on the outside and some sort of soft brushed fabric on the inside. They'd be warm.

I towel dried my hair a bit more and managed to pull a brush through its length before fashioning it into a loose twist high off my neck and securing it there with a clip. Next was a rather lengthy brushing and flossing of my teeth. Heavenly.

Looking down, I saw my discarded panties and bra. I picked them up and quickly threw them in the waste basket beside the sink. It was the next best thing to burning them.

Edward was staring at his cell phone when I re-entered the bedroom but he looked up and then stood as soon as he heard me.

"How is your arm? Should we have it looked at by the doctor?"

"No need. I checked it. It's really just a scrape. It had already stopped hurting by the time I changed into my pajamas. Really…it's fine."

He didn't look convinced.

"Truth?"

"Truth. Now, I think I'm really ready for bed. I…where will you…be?" I wouldn't have minded having him right here in my room, but it was obvious that there was no place for him to sleep.

"Well…first, I've got to get some things from my room…it's just down the hall…but not until Esme comes back up to get you settled. I've just messaged her and she should be here in a moment. I will be _slightly _more than one room away for a few minutes…or I could ask Esme or Carlisle to get my things for me?"

"You 'messaged her'?"

"I thought it might be getting a bit late for yelling through the house." He smiled slightly.

"Oh…right. And I'm feeling better...honestly. I'll be fine with Mrs. Cullen here for a few minutes."

As if on cue, there was a tap on the door as Mrs. Cullen pushed it open.

"I'll be back right away." Edward crossed to the door and waited. He didn't leave until I nodded and said, "Okay."

Mrs. Cullen smiled at me as she came over to the bed and started pulling back the duvet and top sheet and plumped up the pillows.

"Now then, Bella. Let's get you into bed. You've got to be exhausted, poor thing."

"I really am. I'm very ready for bed. Thank you so much, Mrs. Cullen. I feel awful that you're waiting on me though. It's not supposed to be like this."

"Nonsense. For now, we just want to get you feeling better and we're happy to do what we can. Please don't give it another thought. I mean it."

With that, I took off my robe, laid it at the foot of the bed and slipped in. There was no way to express how amazing it felt to have a soft, comfortable mattress beneath me and soft pillows under my head. All I could say was a heartfelt, "Thank you…so much."

Mrs. Cullen fussed with the duvet, plumping and tucking…before she seemed satisfied and said,

"Goodnight, Bella. We're so glad you're here and safe." And she patted my hand as she turned toward the door.

Edward came in right as she reached it and they exchanged a look and their good nights before he closed the door after her and walked to the foot of my bed. He had some items of clothing and a toothbrush in his hands.

"All settled in then? Are you comfortable?"

"Yes…it's heavenly. Thank you."

"Good." I loved his smile. "I'll be in the adjoining room then…through the door right there." He nodded his head toward a door I'd seen but not paid any attention to as it had remained closed while I'd been here.

"Adjoining room? Is it the children's room?"

"It is. They basically share a quite large room…but it's been separated into two private sleeping spaces with a play area in between. See…only a room away…like I promised." That smile again. "You'll see it soon. We'll need to take you on a tour of the entire house when you're up to it."

"That'll be fine." I smiled back.

"One thing…Bella. I really would like a shower myself, before calling it a night, and the children's bath has been adapted to their size so the shower fixture is much too short to do me any good. Do you mind if I shower in your bath? I promise not to make a mess." This time the smile was a boyish grin.

"Of course, Edward. Please…"

"Fine…I'll only be a few minutes. Thank you." He walked over and into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar, as I had done. I heard the sound of the water as he started the shower.

I turned to my side and burrowed my head into the pillow, inhaling deeply when I detected the scent of him there…where his head had been before mine.

That's the last I remembered for awhile.

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><p>I woke breathlessly, to a pounding heart and fistfuls of duvet. I was disoriented. My first thought was that my eyes were covered and I couldn't see and I wanted to shout out but nothing escaped my lips but a hoarsely whispered moan. It took a moment more before I realized my eyes weren't covered; it was just that the room was dark. The room…wasn't <em>the <em>room it had been in my nightmare. It was _my _room…my new room…and I was alright. I tried to relax my fists, to get them to release their death grips.

The details of my dream were all there…and I wanted them not to be. I tried to think of something else, anything else. It didn't work. All I could think of was the vivid memory of being bound and gagged and struggling not to cry and struggling to breathe and I could feel the panic digging its way back in.

Edward…I needed him. Maybe he was still awake…in the next room. Now that my eyes had had a minute to adjust to the dimness, I could see that the door leading to the children's room had been left slightly open.

Without another thought, I threw back the covers and practically jumped from the bed. I walked quickly across to the door and pulled it open.

I found myself facing a wide hallway. What appeared to be closets lined one side and a door to a bathroom, soft, low light escaping from around it, stood open in the middle of the opposing wall. The hall opened to a central playroom. There was a pale nightlight glowing from a low outlet and I could see children's toys here and there, bookshelves, a small table and chairs, plush animals corralled into overstuffed toy boxes, a dollhouse, a train set on the floor.

I turned to the right side of the play area, walked a few steps and peeked into a small room…staring at the bed sitting beneath a window. It was empty except for a cluster of stuffed toys. It was impossible, in the darkness, to tell anything more about the room. I turned and made my way to the far side of the playroom.

Stopping at that doorway and peering in, I was afraid I'd see another empty bed, afraid that Edward had been called away…or that he'd seen I was asleep and had…left. But then, by the light of another dim nightlight, I saw him.

Edward barely fit on the small twin sized bed. His feet were at the very end; if the blanket hadn't been tucked under the mattress, I'm positive they would have been hanging out and over the edge. I was sure he was asleep as I tiptoed forward…my heart still thumping, but less urgently now. He was here.

He lay on his back, his bare chest only partially covered, one arm flung over his head and the other resting atop a quilt decorated with appliques of toy trains. His lips were slightly parted, his breathing even. His face was relaxed, and I saw a trace of the handsome little boy he must have been. His hair was poking up at odd angles; he must have gone to bed with it damp and he was going to pay for it in the morning. It added to the boyish effect.

As I stood there, watching, his eyes moved behind his lids and his lashes fluttered minutely.

"You're dreaming." I hadn't meant to say it aloud, but it slipped out…softly, but still audible. The change in his breathing was immediate.

It stopped.

I turned as quickly as I could, wanting to make my escape before he fully woke. I didn't want him to see I was such a baby that I couldn't even go the night without bothering him.

I'd lifted one foot from the floor when, in a rush, Edward sat up from the bed with a grunt and grabbed my forearm in a steely grip. I let out a strangled squeal and said,

"It's me! Edward, it's Bella!"

His voice was hoarse with sleep.

"What? Bella?"

"Yes. It's me. I'm so sorry."

He didn't relinquish his hold on my arm…just relaxed his grip a little…while he twisted in bed and reached the switch on a small reading lamp mounted on the wall above and to the right of his head. Soft light sprang from it, illuminating his face…still soft with sleep. His eyes squinted a bit in the light as he looked up at me and finally released my arm.

"Jesus, Bella. What are you doing? Are you alright? What's wrong? Jesus…," he sounded exasperated.

"I…I had a nightmare. I'm so sorry, Edward. It was…I was…back in the room and I was bound and gagged and I couldn't see and it all came flooding back and I woke and felt like I couldn't breathe…and I...was so scared." And then I dissolved into tears that I hadn't known were still hiding just beneath the surface of what little self control I'd had.

I stood beside his bed, tears beginning to drip down my cheeks and off my jaw, as he said "Fuck," under his breath and threw back the quilt. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to sniffle my tears to a stop. The bed gave a little squeak as he moved on it.

I felt him take my hand and he pulled on it gently. My eyes were still tightly closed.

"Bella…it's alright. Come sit down beside me." He tugged again on my hand and I chanced a quick glance toward his voice. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, bare chested but wearing pajama bottoms. I moved and sat beside him as he let go of my hand.

"Give me a second." He said and glanced around the floor near the bedside. "Here..." He leaned over, grabbing a shirt from where it lay puddled on the floor and quickly pulling it over his head.

"Now then…do you want to talk about it?" he looked at me in the warm glow of the small lamp, his face serious and worried.

"No…I don't think so. I want to forget about it. It was just what I told you. I was there again…that's all I remember. I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm…sorry I woke you. I just needed to know you were close. I really didn't mean to wake you."

"I should have woken up easier…sooner…as soon as you came down the hallway. I guess I was more tired than I thought. I was sleeping too soundly." He frowned. "Some 'bodyguard' I am."

"It's fine, Edward. It was just a dream. I knew that…but I was still scared. I shouldn't have bothered you."

"Nonsense. That's why I'm here…why I wanted to be close. Alright…enough with apologies from both of us. It's fine. But…here we are. What now? Do you want to try to go back to sleep?"

"I…don't think so…not just yet. I don't even know what time it is, but I feel completely awake now." I looked around for a clock and saw one with a glowing dial sharing a shelf with a stack of books. It was a little after 2 AM. "Oh, my gosh. It's really late…or early. I'll go back to bed. I'm sure you need your sleep."

"Um…I'm rather awake myself now. Don't worry about me. What would you like to do?"

"Can we just sit here…and talk…about boring, dull, safe things? Do you mind?" I asked.

"I don't mind at all. Let's do that. We can tell each other our life story. Who gets to go first?"

This was exactly what I wanted. Calm, mundane, every day getting-to-know-you kind of talk.

"You start," I told him, "if you don't mind. Since I'm in England, I'd like to hear about you… growing up here. Is that okay?"

"Of course." And he began. I loved listening to his voice and my questions became fewer and fewer as I found myself soothed and comforted and getting very sleepy, but I was determined to stay awake.

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><p>I surfaced from sleep little by little…awareness creeping in one sense at a time. The first thing I noticed was the warmth of my pillow…and the fact that it was very firm, not at all soft like I had remembered it. I brought my hand up next to my face in order to have a better feel and when I pushed slightly and there was no "give", I realized it was because my head wasn't on a pillow. It was on something much warmer and firmer than a pillow. I was cradled in the crook of Edward's arm and my cheek was resting on his chest.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: It seems I am constantly apologizing these days for taking so long between updates...and I'm doing it again. I'm so sorry. Because of this, I've come to a decision regarding 'Panic' and my other story, 'Perfect'. **  
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_**This will be the last update for 'Panic' FOR AWHILE so that I can concentrate on more regular updates on 'Perfect' which was my first story and is much further along. I feel I've been doing an injustice to BOTH stories by trying to write them at the same time. Maybe some writers are talented enough to do that, but I'm finding it more and more difficult to "shift gears" between the two, very different, story lines. I feel that both of them are suffering.  
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_**I hope you will keep 'Panic' on your 'list'. I promise I'll be returning to it and finishing it (it's almost completely "mapped out" now). Since it's only eleven chapters in, I'm hoping it won't be too hard for you to skim over it again as a refresher when I continue with it.  
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_**Sorry to leave it here for those of you who are really involved in this story. I assure you I am too, but I want to do it justice since things are about to get a lot more interesting and I need to be able to offer it my full attention.  
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_**In the meantime, if you haven't yet read 'Perfect', I'm told it's a pretty good story too and I invite you to check it out yourself. :)  
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_**Thanks so much for your understanding and for reading. 333  
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><p><em>CHAPTER ELEVEN<br>_

I was afraid to move. If I woke him…what would I say? What would _he _say? How had I ended up in this position? How long had I…had we, I amended to myself…been asleep?

I opened my eyes and could just make out that the clock said 5:09. The first pale light of dawn was seeping between the louvers of the shuttered window in the wall behind me.

There was no getting around it. It was obvious that I had to move. It was inevitable that he would wake up when I did. I had to get back to my room. How would it look if Doctor or Mrs. Cullen found me out of my bed and then found me here? Oh God!

I might as well get it over with.

I slowly eased my head off Edward's chest and turned it to look up toward his jaw…just above me. Deliciously angular and blanketed in a layer of masculine stubble, it moved when I did and was accompanied by a deep intake of breath and a small grunt as he moved…and then stopped dead.

"Huh?" he said, as he lifted his head, turned to look down and noticed me there…tucked in tight by his side.

"Hey." I said softly. "Uh…good morning." And then I pushed myself up on the elbow that had been tucked under me. I was looking down on him now…his hair in even more spiky disarray than when I'd first sneaked in and awakened him and his eyes still a bit unfocused. "It would seem that we fell asleep."

"Yes," his voice was hoarse and he cleared it with a little cough before continuing, "it would seem so."

"I'm really sorry. I don't remember laying down." I just remembered sitting on the edge of the bed while we talked.

"Well…you sort of slumped onto my shoulder and fell asleep in the middle of my exciting discourse about my Sixth Form years. Apparently, I bored you to sleep. I should have picked you up and carried you back to your room but I…well…it seemed easier just to let you sleep here…in case you woke from another nightmare…or something." He stammered and looked a little uncomfortable.

"I'm not quite sure how we came to be like this." He added. "My plan was to stay awake."

"Well that wouldn't have been good. You obviously needed your sleep too…especially since I interrupted it. I am sorry…again."

"Please don't worry about it, Bella. I'm glad I was here for you. That's my plan, you know." He smiled down at me and my heart fluttered. He looked so cute…and so boyish…with his little smile and bed head hair. The toy train décor of this small, cozy room, only added to the effect.

"I should get back to my room now. It's starting to get light outside. I know it's early, but what if someone comes in here looking for you…or into my room to check on me?"

He shifted his position, opening his arm wider and allowing me space to scoot out from his embrace…but I was still trapped against the wall since he was stretched out along the outer edge of the bed. He stared at me, but didn't move.

"Um…you probably don't want me to crawl over you. I'll squish you."

"Oh, of course." He sat up and swung his legs around and off the bed. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking."

I climbed off the bed.

"It looked like you were thinking. You were staring."

"Sorry. Really. I do apologize. It's just that…" he let his sentence fade without completing it.

"'It's just that…'?"

"Uh…nothing. Never mind. It's not important." He rose off the bed and stood next to me. "You really should get back. It is very early though. Do you want to sleep awhile longer? I can wake you later for breakfast…or we could have something now."

"I'm not sure I can fall back asleep…but I think it's probably too early to disturb the household, isn't it?"

"We'll be quiet. Once we're downstairs, we're home free. No one would hear us from the kitchen. _Are_ you hungry then? I can fix you something to eat…or at least some tea…or coffee?"

"I think coffee would be nice. Maybe a piece of toast? If you're sure it's not too early…or too much trouble."

"It's fine. I'll meet you in your room in a couple of minutes. You'll want your robe before you go downstairs?"

I looked down at myself…just realizing as he mentioned my robe that, in my hurry to find him after my nightmare, I hadn't even thought about it.

"Oh…right, my robe." I started backing toward the doorway. "I'll meet you in my room then."

I passed the playroom, went down the hallway and re-entered my room. My robe was where I'd left it…at the foot of the bed…and I grabbed it on my way to the bathroom.

I took a few minutes in the bathroom…taking the time to remove the clip from my hair so I could run a brush through it and to banish morning breath with a few quick swipes of my toothbrush.

Edward was leaning against the wall next to the bedroom door when I walked out. He smiled.

"Ready?" his voice was quiet.

"Umm hmm." I answered…and walked over to where he waited.

He turned to the door and opened it…silently, slowly…before peering out into the hallway. Then he turned back to me and whispered, "All clear. Follow me."

He led the way and I followed him down a long hallway. We passed two more closed doors before reaching the stairs. The hall continued, with more doors on either side and another staircase at the end. It was evident now, just how large the house must be.

At the bottom of the sweeping staircase I remembered from last night, Edward turned toward the back of the house. Another hall ended at an open doorway. Through it was a huge kitchen. He stepped aside to let me enter first.

It was lovely…a style I thought of as Country French…with creamy painted cabinets, gleaming tiled counter tops, backsplashes of simple, plain tiles punctuated here and there by ones with hand painted scenes. There were two eating areas…a bar with tall stools pushed under its edge and a traditional table and chairs tucked into the space formed by a bay window. The overall effect was one of charm and warmth.

"This is beautiful." I whispered.

Edward stepped through behind me and closed a wide multi-paneled door before answering in a normal tone of voice, "You don't need to whisper now, Bella. You really can't hear anything from the kitchen when you're upstairs. That was important for Carlisle and Esme. Doctor's hours being what they are, Esme wanted to make sure Carlisle wouldn't wake anyone else in the house if he came home from the hospital in the middle of the night and needed to fix himself something to eat. It's practically soundproofed. Now…what can I get you?"

"I don't want you to wait on me, Edward. I at least want to help. I think just some toast and coffee. I like tea…but I'd _love_ a cup of coffee."

"Then we'll do it together." He opened a few cabinets and withdrew coffee mugs and the coffee maker, filters and an electric grinder. He had me get the coffee beans from the freezer and a loaf of bread from a counter top breadbox while he added water and a filter to the coffee maker. In a couple of short minutes the smell of freshly ground coffee beans permeated the air.

We worked in companionable silence, Edward continuing with coffee making duty while I found butter and jam in the refrigerator and popped pieces of bread into a four slice toaster.

It all seemed so…normal.

You would have thought that would be comforting and reassuring and that's why I was completely blindsided by the tears that gathered in my eyes as I stared at the shimmery reflection of myself in the shiny surface of the toaster. Memories of 'not normal', of being kidnapped and bound and frightened as I'd never been before in my life flooded my brain and made my knees weak.

I grabbed onto the counter as a small sound escaped me before I could clench my jaw and press my lips together.

Edward was beside me instantly. He stood silently by my side for a moment, once he saw that an injury wasn't the reason for my sound and my tears. And then, without words, he moved behind me, took me by the shoulders and turned me away from the counter and into his chest.

His arms went around me and held me close as soft, shushing sounds came from his mouth. I felt his hands swirl and pat on my shaking back…big, strong, safe hands. I pushed myself even closer to him.

He was my safety and I wanted to climb inside him and shelter there.

Edward held me as the shaking lessened, as the tears subsided into watery sniffles. I felt the pressure of his hands on my shoulders, pushing me away from his chest. It saddened me, but it was what I expected. What I didn't expect was that he pushed me away only far enough so that he could lean down and press his lips against my forehead. One second, two, three…and then they were gone. He rested his chin on the top of my head for a moment, before sighing and saying my name and then he moved away a bit further and I looked up into his face.

His eyes searched mine and saw what they were looking for…saw what I felt. His hands moved to cup my cheeks and I felt the warmth of his lips move to kiss away the wetness that lingered there. And then, his mouth was on mine. I tasted my own tears as they transferred from him to me and, in spite of their salt, it was the sweetest, warmest, most gentle kiss I had ever experienced.

His lips moved away and were replaced by his breath as he said two simple words that would come to mean everything to me…"I'm here."


End file.
